You Live, You Learn

We are all students in the classroom of Life, learning lessons every single day. We will be tested on what we've learned until we eventually pass, being held back to retake the failed tests in certain life categories over and over and over again. Some people never pass the tests in time to benefit from the knowledge in a single lifetime. I fear I will be one of the many who fails a few, despite numerous "do-overs." Like algebra, I just don't get it. Is there a "summer school" for life lessons?

When we were younger, most of our lessons involved finding and mastering solutions to a variety of basic black and white life issues: taking turns prevents arguing; lying gets you grounded; hit and you'll get hit back; sharing keeps friends; it's easier to just do your homework and get it over with; good manners leave good impressions.

As we grew older, the lessons grew more complex and blackness of complexity began to encroach upon the whiteness of simplicity. We learn the hard way that nothing lasts forever; there really are bad people in the world and we're not exempt from being hurt by them; we all have dark and light inside; plan all you want but plan loosely; the phrase I love you doesn't mean the same thing to someone else as it does to you; you think you know how you'd react in a situation, but you really don't, until you find yourself in it; your intuition is the closest you'll ever come to (insert deity here) speaking to you, so you'd better learn to listen up.

Ultimately, I believe the final exam is designed to test our full knowledge of two primary things, and passing in these categories cancels out all of our other failed tests:

Forgiveness.

Not the trite faux forgiveness that you offer up to make yourself and someone else feel better so you can get beyond an uncomfortable situation, nor the kind that makes you feel you've met a prescribed societal obligation. This forgiveness is the quintessential, mutually soul cleansing kind that only comes from having been authentically forgiven yourself. The kind of forgiveness that only comes through a mysterious grace and compassion for humanity at its essence. It's the kind of forgiveness you MUST give yourself in order to survive and understand others enough to forgive them in the same way, knowing we're all doing the best we can.

Love.

Not the shallow, self-serving love that mimics playing doctor - the I'll show you mine if you show me yours kind of love. But the sacrificial, death-to-the-need-to-be-right kind of love. The kind of love you can't really justify to others and don't care to anyway. The kind of love that is willing to say no for a higher reason. Not only love for others, but self-love that burns like a pilot light in your soul, ever-ready to ignite in other-love, but never, ever allowing itself to be snuffed out because of it.

Strange and frustrating how the most valuable, life-changing lessons seem born through the greatest pain, fighting its birth the entire way, while unexpected blissful moments of joy seem to simply alight upon us like the dew in the air, sparkling and light. Neither, though, is more valuable than the other.

Embrace them both, learn and be grateful. It's worth extra credit.

Learn more about this author, Lisa Moeller.
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