by Cheryl Johnson

Created on: August 27, 2009   Last Updated: August 28, 2009

Corporal punishment is kind of like abortion - its use is controversial and many see it, at best, as a "necessary evil". After all, parents don't actually enjoy hitting their children, do they? As with abortion, the spanking debate rages on. But no matter where you stand on the issue of spanking, one thing both sides can agree on is that reducing the perceived "need" for corporal punishment would certainly be a positive step. So how do you do that? It can be difficult to establish a new parenting paradigm when all you've ever known are the external methods of forcing children to behave - that is, yelling, nagging, or spanking, etc. You have to find more positive tools to add to your parenting toolbox; the good news is that once you begin looking, you will find that positive approaches to discipline abound.

So whether you've decided not to spank at all or you would just like to find some more positive ways to interact with and teach your child, here is a small sampling of ideas to get you started.

Don't just supervise - interact!

How often have we heard the adamant statement: "All that kid needs is a good spanking!"? As if one spanking will magically transform a misbehaving child into a well-behaved angel. Parenting can never be reduced to one magic formula or trick; children, like adults, are complex human beings. I do think if we had to pick one thing that kids do need, it wouldn't be a spanking. It would be time. Quality time. Positive interaction with parents or caregivers. Parents tend to supervise instead of interacting. I was recently in the restroom at the local pool where a woman was having a cell phone conversation in the bathroom stall while she helped her young child. When it gets to the point that we can't give our children undivided attention for two minutes while they use the restroom, I think we need to examine our priorities. Turn off the cell phone, the Blackberry, the computer, the video games, and the television and do this old-fashioned thing called "playing". Let the child choose an activity that you can do together. Take them out for ice cream after school and just talk. Play a board game. Have a picnic. Look for opportunities to engage and interact throughout the day. On the way to school, instead of making phone calls, talk to them. Play catch for fifteen minutes when you get home from work. While they're eating breakfast or afternoon snack, give them your full attention and have an actual conversation, instead of checking your email.

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