by Wendy Morgan

Created on: August 26, 2009

People make mistakes all of the time, regardless of age. Children, more than adults, need someone to help them as they go through the journey of life. A parents role is critical in making for a well-rounded child that eventually becomes a well-rounded adult. Teaching a child how to achieve resolution as a child will infinity help them as an adult.

First and foremost, don't take the responsibility of the mistake from the child. Regardless of how old your child is, there is no time like right now to begin teaching cause and effect. A child will not learn to take responsibility for their choices (good or bad) if their parents have removed the burden of responsibility from their shoulders. A child will not learn about consequences if there never are any. Many parents struggle with the idea of being too harsh on their children, but allowing a child to correct a mistake they have made is a life lesson.

Another important factor in helping children learn from mistakes is listening. Have a conversation with your child and let the story unfold. Why did you make this choice? Was the outcome what you expected? Did this choice make you feel better or worse? How can we fix it? Talking through the mistake with your child allows them to express what happened in their own words. Now is not a time for judgement, but for listening and finding the opportunities to take the situation and turn it into a learning experience.

With some situations, a child has no idea how to fix the mistake they made. A parents job in this situation is to offer suggestions and guidelines. If the child is unable to make a choice from the solutions you gave, then make it for them. It is important for children to learn that even though a mistake is made all hope is not lost, with care and effort the mistake can be corrected and the world will shine bright for them again. It important for children to realize that while mistakes cannot be undone, they can be soothed and fixed.

If a child admits and recognizes their mistake, but refuses to do anything about it, tough love comes into the picture. It is a natural instinct to resist the humiliation and embarrassment that can come with fixing mistakes. No one likes to admit that they are capable of making mistakes. However, as adults we are keenly aware that we sometimes have to do things we don't want to. Children NEED this lesson, the younger the better. Small mistakes that have been made and corrected as a child help a child to learn conflict resolution and responsibility as an adult.

A parents job is never easy, especially when your child is hurting, confused or angry because of mistakes that have been made. With a gentle guiding hand, children can learn to correct mistakes and fix problems. These types of life skills will make a child a happy, productive and responsible adult.

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