by Elizabeth M Young

Created on: August 26, 2009   Last Updated: August 27, 2009

The words "I love you" can be said too often, with too little meaning, and with too little sincerity. If there is no meaning, then the expression of love is worth little more than an expression of mild affection or physical attraction.

A drunken bar patron who spies an attractive person for the first time and who launches into repetitive expressions of love is no more than an annoying and distressing presence. There cannot be sincerity, since the speaker is under the influence of a mood and intellect altering substance. The speaker has no reason to express love, since the object of such affection is unknown. There is no reason for the person to be so enamored beyond immediate physical attraction or desire to get close to a stranger.

A person who has a history of translating brief encounters into the love matches of the century has more going on than "love at first sight", and is out to create as much drama as possible. Too often, stalkers, abusers and other dangerous and troubled individuals convince themselves that they are acting out of romantic, parental or other forms of love for their victims. For the person who is not a mental health professional, such expressions of "love" have no meaning and do not make any sense.

If there is no sincerity, then the expression of love is worth less than saying nothing at all.

When a person is hurt by a loved one and states that "you never say that you love me!" the pain will not be relieved by a sarcastic or meanly chanted set of words: "I love you." When expressed with impatience and accompanied by more disrespect and disregard, the words become a weapon.

Some individuals have trouble expressing love and are at their most uncomfortable saying the exact words: "I love you." In those cases, there are other words and other ways to express how one truly and sincerely feels.

Some individuals demand constant repetition of the words "I love you," and don't really care about whether the words are sincerely spoken. They get into trouble when a loved one becomes tired of being required to say something, again and again. No one is happy with being forced into an emotional transaction that is more about manipulation, neediness, or control than it is about willing and voluntary expressions of love.

If the words "I love you" are said too often, a numbness can develop.

The words become meaningless and can be perceived as more of a ritual than a true expression of love.

And when love is expressed sincerely and with meaning, such a ritual is the most wonderful gift that we can give or receive.

Let loved ones become numb from hearing the words "I love you!" And let them be secure. And let them know that they were loved the last time that they spoke with us.

Learn more about this author, Elizabeth M Young.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.