by Broken Blade

Created on: August 25, 2009

As inevitable as the fact that we will have friends in our lifetime is the fact that we will offend or hurt our friends in some way. We will make mistakes, or say something that will upset that friend. It could be some insult, or something insensitive that we say or do. It can be as simple as forgetting to invite him to some place he or she always wanted to go with you to. But we will all hurt our friends, family and some acquaintances. So at some point in the relationship, we will have to apologize. There are certain ways to apologize to a good friend or anyone that we hurt just like there are ways not to apologize.

First off, you don't want to say "I'm sorry, but..." If you approach an apology from this direction you are not really apologizing, but in a way, you are telling your friend that it is actually his fault you have offended him in the way you've offended him. In a way you are trying to justify what you did and that can prove to be more harmful than helpful to the relationship especially if you have one of those sensitive friends. These types of apologies are accepted but they are not real apologies.

Another way not to apologize is to say "I'm sorry, but this and that happened..." Again, not an apology, but you are trying to dodge responsibility. What you are doing here, as well as above is more of a self justification than an apology. Because of that, you don't really accomplish much because of that kind of "apology" you dished out. Yes, there are certain things that can affect your actions but, there is plenty of room to explain it.

There are many other ways you shouldn't apologize, but lets go to the number one way you actually want to apologize. Just be straight up and say, "I'm sorry, I was wrong." or something to that effect and cut it off right there. If your friend really is a good friend, he or she will accept it and forgive you. Not only that, your friend will actually have even more respect for you because you were a strong enough person to just apologize and admit you were wrong. No justification, no excuses, just recognise that what you did was wrong, hurtful, insensitive, etc. An apology like that will actually strengthen the relationship.

A good friendship is hard to find for some people, and depending on the type of person you are, it can be quite easy to lose. You will make mistakes. To maintain good friendship, sometimes you have to swallow every bit of pride that you have and take up for your mistakes.

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