by Carol Gioia

Created on: August 25, 2009   Last Updated: October 13, 2009

It is always unpleasant to be exposed to rudeness. Remaining calm and not letting the negative attitude of a rude person influence your peace of mind can be difficult.

Some people succumb to acting out with rudeness out of insecurity or frustration. Others have unresolved anger issues and are easily triggered to rude responses in a stressful situation.

One thing you do not want to do is mirror the rude behavior. In order to mitigate an unpleasant situation, the secret is to remain calm. This is sometimes easier said than done. It is human nature to become riled when you are the target of rude behavior.

Some strategies for dealing with rudeness without losing calm:

* Don't take it personally

Whatever is driving the rude behavior, the problem lies within that individual. Keeping in mind that, even if you bear the brunt of the rudeness, you did not cause the person's unacceptable behavior is the best way to keep your calm. Acting defensively and getting emotionally worked up yourself will only exacerbate the situation.

* Practice instant stress-relief techniques

When confronted with a rude, bully-like personality, it is easy to become stressed and react impulsively with a heated response. Determine to keep your calm by counting to ten and taking a deep breath before responding to a rude outburst. A quiet demeanor highlights the contrast of attitudes and might potentially instill awareness in the rude individual of his boorish behavior.

* Acknowledge and empathize

When a person is being rude, it is sometimes helpful to acknowledge his frustration with a comments such as, "I see you are having a bad day, and I am sorry for that." It is surprising how sometimes a considerate response can bring a rude person up short and change his tone. Do not apologize when you have no reason, for bullies tend to prey on what they perceive as weaker individuals. Commiserate, but do not capitulate.

* Ignore the behavior

If all else fails, simply ignore the rude individual and go about your business. A lack of response is often the only way to mitigate or inhibit rude behavior. If you are being directly confronted, respond as if you were having a normal conversation and completely ignore an attempts to engage you in a rude way. Listen intently and then cheerfully give your reply, as though you are unaware of the rude tone.

Rude people are generally frustrated individuals with poor manners and worse communication skills.

While it is unpleasant to experience rudeness, monitoring your response and not allowing the behavior of others to dampen your spirits, is the best method of coping and maintaining your inner calm.

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