by Timo Cerantola

Created on: August 25, 2009

Barack Obama's Top 10 ways to save America's economy and everything else...

(Or, Everything's going to be all right, but stock up on few months' worth of food, fuel and ammunition just in case).

Number... 10.

Buy high, sell low, expand the war in Afghanistan, bomb Pakistan and avoid thinking about my election promises.

9.

Pretend to care deeply about America's middle class but stick with former president Bush's policies of ignoring the Constitution, cutting back on personal freedoms, continue with imperialistic warmongering and, more lip service to a national health care plan. Hey, it worked for George Bush - twice!

8.

Loan trillions and trillions of dollars to the Federal Reserve, but first, because the Federal Reserve system is so stupid, we must borrow trillions from the Federal Reserve so they can then print the money in order to loan it back to the American people (plus interest) and then, finally, we give all those trillions of dollars to a bunch of crooked bankers and rich people on Wall Street - no questions asked.

7.

Disregard the wishes of that insignificant segment of the population known as "the public" and more money for war - and bomb Pakistan!

6.

Hire several experienced money men who know how broken and corrupt the system is (because they helped make it that way) and see if they can fix the financial mess that they created. Hey, who better than white collar criminals to understand the mind of white-collar criminals?

5.

Obama's Vice President Joe Biden, unlike George Bush's Vice President, promises not to shoot anyone in the face.

4.

Spend some of the billions of bailout money on distancing the American economy from oil dependence by converting the US to green technologies. Then, invest some more of the bailout money in several rapid transit rail systems, wind farms and other programs to reduce energy consumption and also create some much needed jobs. And finally, why not cut out America's favorite pastime and major multi billion dollar expenditure, war making. Huh...? OK, forget that. I guess it was a stupid idea after all. Let's just bomb Pakistan!

3.

Continue with more of George W. Bush's policies of light on peace, heavy on bombs!

2.

Let's all stay positive. We have a fairly good chance of not reducing the planet to a smoldering pile of radio active charcoal briquettes.

...And finally, Barack Obama's number one way to solve financial crisis...

Barack is going to put some of the bailout on his Visa Card. [end]

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