by Tracey Parece

Created on: August 25, 2009

Independence means being free to make your own decisions. It also means being responsible for your own decisions and your own actions. However, independence does not mean being alone.

If you live with your spouse, you are not alone. Yet you can maintain your independence in many different ways. You and your spouse most likely both earn your own income. You can split the bills and household expenses down the middle. Then you can each handle and manage your own money (whatever was left after paying the bills).

By keeping your finances separate, you maintain independence because you keep the money that you earn. You can spend your income, save it, or give it away to charity without answering to your spouse. Although this method of household budgeting may be unusual, it can actually be very fair to both parties.

If you and your spouse keep individual bank accounts, you will not have to contribute to paying for his cigarette habit. He will not have to pay for your manicures. It can reduce fighting because you both retain your independence. If one partner has irresponsible record-keeping practices, the other partner won't be impacted by overdraft fees. This can reduce fights about money and finances.

It is also possible to be alone without being independent. For example, if you are a college student living in a rented apartment alone. Your rent, utilities, food, tuition, and books are paid by your parents. Although you are living alone, you are far from independent. You would have a better chance of independence if you lived at home, worked full-time, and paid your own way through college.

If you are alone, there is help. Reaching out to friends and family members will not make you less independent. Don't be afraid to exchange a little bit of independence fof the loving support of your relatives if it is necessary.

Independence doesn't mean being alone because they are not the same thing. They can each exist independently. One does not require the other, nor does it necessarily follow the other. Many people aspire to be independent, but very few aspire to be alone.

The word independence has positive connotations-think of Independence day. The word alone has negative connotations-being alone, feeling alone, loneliness.

People strive to attain independence, but they eschew being alone. If you are currently struggling to become independence, don't despair. Independence is never achieved in one day. Instead, independence is something that you can slowly and steadily gain as you make smart decisions about your life.

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