by Wendy Morgan

Created on: August 24, 2009   Last Updated: August 25, 2009

Life in general is an adventure. The adventure becomes increasingly more arduous with children. Children add so much to life. Unfortunately, one of those additions is injury and the stress that accompanies it.

Children face injury before they can walk. Accidental dislocations during play, bumps and bruises from hard items on the floor, as well as the occasional fall when learning to stand and walk. Children seem to have a neon bullseye attached to them when it comes to injury. As such, as parents it is critical to learn how to calmly deal with injuries when they happen. It is vital to the development of the child to learn (from you) the art of cool under pressure.

From the earliest stages, children learn emotion from their parents. Smiles are mirrored at months old. Tension can be felt by infants as they are held, cuddled and cradled. On occasion, it is necessary to control our own emotions in order to help our children through a stressful time. Injuries are a perfect example of this.

When a child gets injured, not only do they have physical pain but physical manifestations of injury (blood, bones, etc.) as well. Since parents can be squeamish too, and if this applies to you, excuse yourself. Find someone to help your child. The very worst thing you can do is stay with your child and pass out, get hysterical or sob uncontrollably. Your child will see your stress and add it onto their own stress. A child will watch your reaction and learn that injuries are something horrific or that cannot be recovered from, creating a terror of injury for the rest of his life.

When an injury occurs, children (and some adults) need to accept the fact that the injury occurred. No amount of screaming or carrying on will undo the injury. Even if the injury was due to a stupid decision by the child, that can be dealt with later. Now is the time for comfort, not criticism. There will be a time later to discuss bad choices.

Tears are an inevitable part of any injury. The child will cry, perhaps scream, to express pain, discomfort, and fear. The parent may cry to express fear, concern, and empathy for their child. There is nothing wrong with tears and injury. There is everything wrong with hysterical behavior that only complicates the situation. When tears are accepted and dealt with rationally, from parent or child, a child will learn to express their emotions without being consumed by them. They will also learn that emotions are a natural part of injury and to not be embarrassed by them. Learning how to cope with injury is a gift from parent to child.

Depending on the type of injury, a parent should talk their child through the injury. Unless it is a devastating injury, hiding the facts will only hurt the child by making them believe that injuries should be hidden and are not acceptable. Even in the case of horrible injury, as much information as the child can handle should be shared.

Knowing the facts helps children understand what is going on with their body and what the next steps are. When a child is already facing physical injury, it adds a level of terror to sit and imagine the unexpected. When a child understands the injury, and the steps to correcting the injury and beginning the healing process, they feel empowered and secure knowing there will be no surprises.

Parents can facilitate the healing process of any injury by staying calm. Get help if you cannot calmly be there for your child. Calmly console and talk to your child. Explain what happened and what will happen next. Surprises and injuries do not go well together. Be the best parent you can be during one of the worst times imaginable by being there and without adding drama.

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