It is saddening to read the "no" articles on this debate, for one reason and one reason only; they all make the immediate assumption that anyone who involves themselves in a relationship online is automatically lying. It is very easy to find people who have formed an opinion on the subject of online dating, but it is much more difficult to find those whose opinion is based on first-hand knowledge rather than hearsay and stereotyping.
The stereotypes? Everyone you meet online is trying to steal your money, rape you, stalk you and quite possibly stalk, rape and steal from you all at the same time. Everyone on the internet is male (girls don't exist, apparently), over the age of 50 and most likely a pedophile trying to lure your kids into their creepy basement lair. If you come across that most elusive of things, a genuine female, she will most likely be under the age of 13, fat, ugly or just desperate. In simple terms, nobody is ever what they seem to be. Some paint the internet as a place of lies and deceit, where all pictures are fake and every word said is just a trap to try and trick you.
It is these pessimistic attitudes that often fuel those who are in some way or another against the idea of online dating. That and the social stigma against those who are not seen to be on the dating "scene", particularly among young people, leads in itself to a strong stigma against those who date online. Insults such as "saddo" and "freak" are flung, the individuals in question are told "you're sick", "get a life", "god, you're desperate!" and much, much more. And why? Because they don't buy into the anti-hype.
Just imagine; you're playing an online game, for example. You're running around, and you start chatting to this person. You get on really well, and become friends. Sounds good so far, right? Most people would consider this to be normal, no sign of the overbearing disapproval yet. But what is it about that person who dares to take that step further that causes scorn, and in some cases hatred?
Some people seem to believe that despite all evidence to the contrary, when you're speaking to someone online, you're just talking to a machine, an object. Somehow it seems to elude them that on the other end of those wires is a living, breathing human being with real thoughts and feelings. And is that not the very nature of a relationship? Thoughts and feelings? Why then, should it be frowned upon to communicate those feelings in this way?
As for how "real" those who date online are as couples, the feelings they share are extremely real. Let me give you an example from first-hand experience. A girl I know (who lives in Britain) had fallen completely and utterly in love with a guy she had met online - a guy who lives in a country far across the Atlantic Ocean. They never once saw each other in person, unable in their youth to cross that gulf between their two countries. But they shared that spark, that swooping feeling in your gut just hearing the other's voice. The goofy smiles, the stupid in-jokes and lame arguments. Everything you would consider a "normal" couple to have, they had, only they could not touch. She even set her alarm and woke up at 4AM every morning just so she could have a conversation with him when he got back from work! If that is not a "real" relationship, I don't know what is. That is devotion. That is love.
It is primitive to believe in this day and age that a relationship has to have a physical element to survive. In our society, romantic love and relationships have precedence over the physical need to reproduce. If two people can feel so strongly about one another, they should be allowed to enjoy their relationship without fear of prejudice or even abuse. I am by no means claiming that all online relationships are perfect, far from it, but that is just a reflection of how things are in the world outside the internet.
Online relationships. Perfect, no. Real? Most definitely, yes.