by Ali Coyne

Created on: August 23, 2009

I think I've just made the biggest decision of my life.

I met an absolutely wonderful man four years ago at a dance studio. We quickly became fast friends as soon as he said in the middle of class, "Wait-you mean we're gonna do a Foxtrot to 'Crazy Train?!'" He's a trip, believe me.

About eight months ago, we made the decision to kiss for the first time-at the lake, in the middle of December. We had been talking quite a bit about the possibility of something romantic happening between us in the future, but never anything this soon. It was so complicated. There were so many mechanics to work out for just one kiss: What time will we go to avoid any questions? How long will we stay? Will we kiss just once, or do it as much as we want? What if we freak out? What if we can't stop? I said, "Look, if it's meant to happen, it'll happen. If it's not, it won't. The only thing we have to decide right now at this very moment is if we're going to do it for real, and what time we're going to meet. Everything doesn't matter-let it take its course."

The air was cold that morning. I left the house at 10:00, and arrived at 10:45. I stood out on the peninsula very close to the frigid water waiting for him to come. I thought, "What if he chickens out? He won't chicken out. He's told me that. What if we don't like it? What if we're not compatible? What am I doing? He's so much older than me, he's married-not for long, but still. He might freak when he does it. What will I do?" I heard him yell my name through the woods. I turned around and walked from the icy, muddy beach to the sidewalk, and yelled back. He came out of the woods in a panic. "Oh, my God, there you are! You almost gave me a heart attack!" he said, his voice shaking. "I couldn't find you!" I said, "I was right here, the whole tim-" He grabbed me, wrapped his arms around me so I couldn't leave, and kissed me so deeply and timidly and passionately and lovingly and nervously all at the same time. I was lost inside him. He pulled back, my lips frozen in the shape of his, my eyes unable to open, I could barely stand on my own feet. I got my bearings, and opened my eyes. I looked at the trembling man standing before me and said, "Breathe, honey. You're turning blue . . . " We stayed until about 2:00 that afternoon. I had to make sure he was breathing about 17 times that lovely day . . . that beautiful day. The day I went home and looked in the mirror and thought, "I look

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>