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Age gap relationships: What to expect when you're involved with a different generation

by Rose Barrington

Created on: February 09, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

Norman Goldman had become single again in his sixties and was facing a very uncertain social life. He acknowledges that he is not a "typical" older man. His genetic makeup and his vigorous lifestyle have enabled him to be like a man in his forties although he's in his sixties. Sitting alone in the luxurious lakeside cottage high in the mountains, he turned to the Internet for human contact. Surfing about, he found a site called "Friend Finder", and placed a "profile" there with a photograph.

Norman was shocked and delighted by the avalanche of responses, and was even more surprised that responses came from fine, successful, educated women whose ages ranged from 39 to 70. Norman hardly knew what to do at first, except to answer responses carefully and honestly. Before long he was being invited to meet with several of these wonderful women. The youngest was not yet 40, and was an executive with one of the world's largest auto manufacturers. She was not married to the father of her two teen-aged children, and had separated from him some years before because of his alcoholism, and she had lived with another man for almost 10 years. Kathleen lived 200 miles from Norman, and drove that distance to meet him in a public place for security reasons. Norman was delighted to find that she was a beautiful woman of Irish descent, complete with lovely green eyes and red hair.

The first, tenuous meeting went well, and both individuals left that first meeting with optimistic feelings. They met 3 more times in public, to be certain of their positive feelings for each other before daring to become intimate. The fourth meeting was to be in Kathleen's home city, and Norman drove there to spend a weekend. Kathleen's teen-aged children were spending the weekend with their father, and the opportunity to grow closer together was agreeable to both of the nervous lovers-to-be.

The weekend was a total success. Kathleen and Norman cooked for each other, talked and talked at great length about their lives, hopes, and ambitions. By that Sunday night, they regarded themselves as a couple. They had become lovers, and Kathleen was thrilled to find she could enjoy a man more than ever she had before. The older man's gentleness, patience, and experience enabled him to satisfy and teach things to Kathleen that she had always sought, but had never before found. Their relationship was very successful for more than a year, with the two individuals taking turns traveling to each other's homes.

It was

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