by Lillian Joyce

Created on: August 20, 2009   Last Updated: August 24, 2009

How nice it is to roll over and have a soft warm body next to yours. It's so nice to know the children are safe and close by. Especially in the dead of night when sleep is flimsy and vulnerability sets in. But eventually there is a point where that little girl or boy begins to move like an octopus with heavy little legs and arms. As bruises begin to bloom on arms and legs from small children rolling around, it becomes questionable on why that child is not lying in his or her room in their own bed. But how do we get them there after they slept so nicely with Mom or Dad?

Transitioning children to their own rooms is difficult at best. Our own exhaustion coupled with a small child's stubbornness can be very trying. But consistency and understanding is the key to success. There are some who believe letting the child cry it out is the fastest way. I personally don't agree with this philosophy.

A more sensible approach is to gradually transition your child, letting him know that you love and care for him during the entire process. The goal is to make sleeping in their bed not a punishment, but a reward. Try to make their bedroom more desirable. Allow them to pick out some decorations and maybe a new blanket for their bed. Offer a stuffed animal and comforting toys. Try to arrange the room to their needs. Sometimes the corner of a dresser in shadows can be a monster ready to attack. By moving things around, we may be able to eliminate fears from scary objects in the dark. If your child is afraid of the dark, purchase a night light. Or use a low wattage bulb in a bedside lamp. If your child hears sounds in the night, buy a radio to play soft music while they are sleeping. Let the radio play all night so they will be comforted when they wake up alone.

Make sleeping in their bed exciting. Create a chart. For each night the child sleeps in their bed, they get a sticker. After so many stickers, they get a reward. This can be as simple as an extra bedtime story or five more minutes of cuddle time. Never reward the child with a night in your bed. This will set the whole process back to step one!

Probably the most important part of moving the child to his own bed is to establish a consistent bed time routine. After bathing, read a story quietly in their bed together. Even lie down and talk quietly together. Spend a few minutes of undivided time with your child. It is probably best to stay in the room the first few nights until your child falls asleep. I have found that

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