by D. P. Noe

Created on: August 20, 2009   Last Updated: October 09, 2009

We have all had the experience of having to deal with a difficult person. There are many emotions that you feel inside and usually control so that you do not end up looking like the bad guy. Keeping your emotions and even feelings of anger under wrap is no easy task. Dealing with difficult people require special people skills. You can choose to walk away and do absolutely nothing or learn to build skills and responses to individuals that seem to enjoy being difficult. Having skills to handle difficult individuals is your best tool because difficult people will never disappear from the earth.

The first thing you should always do when confronted by a difficult person is to lower the tone of your voice. This will help to redirect the person and clearly is sending a message that you are wiling to listen to them if they remain appropriate. If they interrupt you when you are speaking, politely and keeping your voice low, address them by using their name and ask that they do not interrupt you. If you state that you want to work with them, it shows integrity and honesty.

If an individual is hostile and is exhibiting an aggressive behavior, tell them that you want to resolve the problem but it cannot be handled in this manner. Find a quiet area where you can shut the door and keep the situation under control,. If the individual fails to respond to this tactic, suggest that you meet later when they can participate in a adult conversation.

If you are dealing with a manipulative individual, this is the time to set limits and clearly send a message that there can be consequences for this type of behavior. Always hold your line with this type of person and remain consistent.

Then there are the individuals that always complains and are known as whiners. Take these individuals to a quiet separate area and try to sort out their main points that they are trying to get across. This is not an easy task and may take a lot of patience. This is the time that you need to focus on main issues and ask for resolutions to their problems. It is never your responsibility to have all the answers for them. Stick to your guns and look for ways to handle the situation utilizing some of their ideas for resolutions to the issue.

If an individual becomes defensive with you, this is the time to have them repeat back to you what they heard you say. Make sure that they have a clear understanding of the message you were trying to get across. Repeat back to them what they said to you and let them know what you agree with and what you do not agree with. Again try to come up with resolutions to the issues and ask them how they would handle the situation. Make the individual think and place the responsibility back on them for best solutions to problems. If this occurs, it is the time when compromise can take place and eliminate the defensive behavior.

Choosing to ignore difficult individuals will not resolve the issue. Chances are that they are not going to go away. It is better to be direct and look for resolutions to issues. This build trust, decreases conflict and helps to diffuse difficult individuals.

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