by Joseph Whalen

Created on: August 20, 2009

"Nobody is useless; they can always serve as a bad example." When he uttered these words of wisdom my father never had himself in mind as being that bad example. However as fate would have it my father served as many bad examples during my life. While I loved him dearly my father was not one to coddle his children or over indulge them with sentimental non-sense. In fact my father was more often than not quite distant and cold.

Regardless of his reasons for distancing himself from my siblings and me it provided an opportunity to observe the man at a distance. It was strange how he was jovial, polite and infinitely nice to those who knew outside of our family. When it comes to my mother, siblings and me he was a hardnosed disciplinarian who believed his word was law and that he was infallible. The first lesson I learned from my father is how to be humble. For a many of many faults he lacked the ability to recognize any of them or to compensate for them.

Then there were the obvious faults of habit such as smoking, drinking womanizing, all the things that make a create bachelor and playboy but a poor husband and father. Not seeing any of these habits as faults he made no effort to conceal them from his wife and children. For this I credit my father for teaching me that over indulgence in anything is bad, but specifically for swearing me off of smoking and excessive drinking. These same failings combined with the disrespectful and chauvinistic way he treated my mother instilled me with a great respect for woman and a sense of how to properly treat a woman which I hope my wife will attest to.

Despite his many faults and personality quirks my father was a good and decent man at heart. Flawed as he was, he did have many good qualities that I was able to adopt. His sense of honor, though he did not always live up to it is something that I inherited from him. My father had a very rigidly defined set of moral guidelines and was not afraid to take a stand based on his belief. This is a quality that I exhibit myself, almost to a fault in fact. Unfortunately for the most part my father did indeed serve as a bad example. Fortunately my mother was such a gleaming example of righteousness and positivity that she largely overshadowed any of the negativity my father brought to the parenting table.

To my mother I owe my sense of general respect for people and my willingness to not back down from a fight that I believed in. All of the characteristics

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