by Eve Lopez

Created on: August 20, 2009

Dates, especially first dates, should always be paid for by the man. It's a different story for committed relationships, which should be more 50-50. But for first dates, women should listen to the "old-fashioned" dating advice of their foresisters and never pay.

Many modern, feminist women think they should at least offer to pay for the first date. Women believe that this shows manners, and also shows the man that they are capable of paying for themselves. Here are a few reasons why women should instead let the man pay.

On average, men make $10,000 a year more than women doing the same job. Men have more money to spend on dates; it's as simple as that.

Furthermore, men (no matter what they say,) subconsciously prickle when the woman they've asked out offers to pay. Men have an ingrained sense of duty to provide. When women offer to pay for the first date, they're taking that away from the man. They're unknowingly emasculating him. The truth is that men want to pay. When a woman offers to pay, even if its out of politeness, the man's subconscious sees it as rude.

Right now, the world is experiencing economic upheaval. Hardly anyone is financially secure. Plus, when a man and a woman get together, there is still a good chance that the woman makes as much as, if not more, than the man she's dating. Then should she pay?

No. The answer is still no. The question of who should pay for a date is not an economic issue. It's a social issue. Some men are threatened by women in power, even if they don't want to be. And even the best feminist man will still get rankled if a woman wants to show off her alpha-ness to her date.

One of the things women have to offer their relationships is their time. Women invest a lot of time into their dating lives; they shouldn't invest their money as well.

What if a woman really likes a man, and she wants to date him, but he's in between jobs?

It's still not OK for the woman to pay for the date. What she can do instead is suggest free or low-cost dates. Picnics in the park or at the beach, afternoon movies, free museums and farmer's markets are all great date ideas.

When in the dating world, women should definitely hold off on paying for dates until a relationship is established. At that point, splitting date bills is only the right and fair thing to do. Until that point, though, women should let the men pay and enjoy themselves.

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