by Savannah White

Created on: August 19, 2009   Last Updated: August 21, 2009

It's hard being single when you really want to be in a relationship. It's even harder when you're a single parent looking for love. The rules for dating are different when you have a child. In fact, just about everything is different. How do you navigate the world of dating when you're a single mother looking for a second chance at love? Finding someone to go out on a date with is easy, but making a connection that leads to love is not. You are more cautious in your choices because you have to consider how it will affect your little ones.

A good step toward finding love is to first find friends. You need to develop friendships with other single mothers. This will serve two purposes. One is you will have friends with similar interest who you can spend time with. You won't be spending all your time at home wishing you had somewhere to go and something to do. The second purpose is these new friends will keep you from being lonely. When you are alone and lonely things that would normally bother you might not seem so bad. Those things are still just as annoying as they ever were, but loneliness makes you relax your standards. Once the newness of a relationship wears off you will realize you don't like the new guy quite as much as you thought, or hoped.

Once you have found some new friends, you can swap babysitting duty. When one of you has a date, the other can watch the kids and then return the favor when someone else has a date. It's also a good idea to keep a good list of babysitters. How awful if you meet someone great but can't go out because you don't have a sitter? It's just as bad if you do have a sitter, but they're not available. Keep several trustworthy sitters on speed dial. You dating life will be less stressful if you do.

Next thing to do is join a singles group or volunteer your time with a charity. This will put you in the position to meet new people in the group and even more new people when the group goes out or attends an event together. There is, of course, that huge dating pool in cyber space. Online dating is a good option for the single mother. Just keep in mind that some online daters lie because it's easy to do so in cyber space. Be cautious and careful, but be open to the possibilities.

One last tip, but possibly the most important, is to readjust your mindset about men. Everyone has a type but the older you get the more that type changes. The core qualities may remain the same, but you may want other things. Good looks may not be as important, but more maturity may be, especially if you want someone who will get along well with your children. Think about what qualities you want and need in a mate before you go looking for one. Then, be active in your search. Put yourself in a position to meet people and expect to be dating and finding love in no time!

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