by Jerome Espinosa Baladad

Created on: August 19, 2009   Last Updated: August 20, 2009

This topic is actually dreadful to discuss openly, at least in writing. Some people I know may get to read this and ask for more details, but I know, and have found out and confirmed most people in my network don't read (or else I would have had heavier traffic leading to my writings,) though I don't really take it against them. Most of them are loaded with work just like the rest of us, and can not even afford to spare time to discuss topics like this.

But for all this exercise maybe worth it, I'm venturing to share some what may consider as facetious: what happened during first time sex that caused me to lose my virginity.

Telling a story about this may be the best way to do this. It's not really comparable to reading a third-person account of it, as it becomes impersonal and diagnostic-sounding at worst. I remember doing it the first with a young playmate of mine when I was still like around 7 or 8 years old. Yes, it was a little girlfriend I had with whom I'd play "house" every now and then. She's the daughter of our next door neighbor. We lived, then, in a line of apartments in a middle-class suburban location in a big city somewhere in the Philippines. I would often hear her parents have marital fights, which to my innocent mind then were frightful, and I felt pity somewhat on my friend. She has an elder sister, who's not as pretty as she was.

We would always spend hours playing with each other, until one day, she led me into something like what adults would, apparently, normally do. Was I aware of it? Not really, until I grew older. I certainly had memories of the act, though they're fading now (perhaps, being coated by more of the vivid and recent experiences I've been having, and which are beyond the scope of this story.) But I certainly knew she was very much aware of how to go about doing these things. I heard her telling me: "This is how my parents do it," referring to the couple I knew who would always fight and hurl verbal insults to each other within hearing distance of us their neighbors. Or we could have been influenced by those images we saw on TV or from movies, as I somehow was willing to play my role.

She must have seen certain things from her parents. I remember doing it with her in the bedroom of her parents, which was clean, warm, and somehow dim lighted. We must have done it, at least 4, 5 times or more. We would even kiss each other's lips; though I don't remember feeling any passion from it. But we had innocent fun. Remember: we would often play "house" complete with small plastic bright-colored tea cups, a teapot, ragdolls, a tiny toy house, cute toy animals, plus pillows. We played "Father and Mother" as part of the roles we usually find in a "house" or from what our more-innocent minds then, corresponds to having a "home" and a "family."

I remember having felt something warm from the experience, and I knew the memories will remain with me for a lifetime. There were certainly no romance or something like that; we just didn't know better.

Either their family had to move somewhere, or I was brought by my parents to a relative's house to start my studies, such that those "house" games had to stop. Certainly, I learned a thing or two about those encounters. I remain grateful for them, though.

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