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Poetry: Bird humor

by Jerry Curtis

Created on: August 19, 2009   Last Updated: August 29, 2009

The Parrot

The parrot was perched in Delhi
On a sizzling hot summer's day.
He said, "Sahib, will you please buy me?"
I was stunned, didn't know what to say.

Said the parrot, "I speak more than one language.
"Spanish and a bunch of fran-say.
"Italian, Hindi, Afghani
"And a touch of Swahili, they say."

"Why, certainly!" said I, offering rupees
(The sale made the shopkeeper's day.)


The parrot he preened and he strutted
And accents he mimicked this way:

"Do youse like my accent from Brooklyn
"or mah drawl from down neah Savannah?
Y yo puedo hablar en la lengua
De Cuba y La Vieja Habana! *

"But one thing I'll tell you," he confided
"Please don't expect me to sing
"I never took one singing lesson
"I can't carry a tune, that's the thing."

Then he started to sing some Pucini
Clearly the worst I have heard
"Stop, please, and I promise I'll buy you!
"But don't sing another harsh word."

Undaunted I went to the FedEx
And boxed up the parrot to send it
"You're going to Montana!" I told him.
"So say nothing 'til your journey is ended."

"My old mother will certainly love you
"You'll fill up her sad, empty time
"So be quiet, don't chatter or flutter
"Pretend you're a mute and a mime."

The next week I sent Mom a short e-mail.
"Say, Mom, did you enjoy the strange bird?"
"Why, yes, it was simply delicious!"
Came back her answer (absurd!).

"Say what?" I wrote back most insulted
"You ate that one-of-a-kind bird?
"Did you know that it spoke more than one language?"
A more shocking thing I never heard!

"Calm down," wrote my mother, "Don't sweat it.
"The bird arrived practically dead.
"You shouldn't have shipped it by FedEx
"And besides, there was nothing he said

"...to let me know he was so clever
"He never said one single thing!"
"But it seemed to like mimicking accents
"But I cooked it when I heard it sing."

_______________________________________
* And I can speak in the language
Of Cuba and old Havana


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