by Christopher H. Stevens

Created on: August 18, 2009

A Hell of A Night

Scene: A restaurant. A woman, Susan is sitting alone at a table. She is looking at her watch, as if waiting for someone. After a minute, a waiter approaches the table.

WAITER:
Good evening, miss. Can I get you something to drink?

SUSAN
(looking at watch)
Oh, no thank you, I'm meeting someone here tonight.
He should be here any minute.

WAITER
Oh, Okay. First Date?

SUSAN
Yeah. You know, one of those On-Line Dating things.

WAITER
Ah, yes. That's how I met my wife.

SUSAN
How nice. How long have you been married?

WAITER
We'll be divorced one year tomorrow.

SUSAN
Oh, Happy Anniversary!

WAITER
Thanks, I guess.
What's this guy like anyway?

SUSAN
I don't even know. There was just a profile, no pictures. But he seemed like a regular guy. Some times you just gotta take a chance!

WAITER
Yeah, I guess so. Anyway, I'll check back with you in a few minutes.

SUSAN
Great, thanks.

(The waiter exits, and a minute later, The Devil enters and approaches the table.)

LUCIFER
Susan?

SUSAN
Hi, you must be Lucifer.

LUCIFER
That's me. Sorry, I'm running a couple of minutes late.

SUSAN
Oh, that's okay. Here, sit down.

LUCIFER
Thanks. Well, its finally nice to meet you face to face.

SUSAN
You look nothing like what I pictured. Isn't that so funny?

LUCIFER
Really? Seems most people can pick me out in a crowd.

SUSAN
Well, you have a certain look about you, but I like it. I can't wait to hear more about you. You know, those On-Line profiles can be so vague.

LUCIFER
Oh, I know. So you're in nursing, is that right?

SUSAN
Yes. Fourteen years now. And you're in the repossession business, you said.

LUCIFER
Among other things, yes. I'm sort of a Jack of All Trades.

SUSAN
That's wonderful.
You know, I can't believe you're from Haiti. You look almost Native American.

LUCIFER
Hades. I'm from Hades.

SUSAN
Oh, where exactly is that?

LUCIFER
South. Down Under I guess you might say.

SUSAN
Okay, like near Australia?

LUCIFER
A little more down under than that.

SUSAN
Well, geography never was my strongest subject.
Come to think of it, neither was mathor spelling.

(The waiter approaches the table, and places a basket of bread)

WAITER
Hi there. Oh, looks like your friend finally arrived.
(looks at Lucifer)
Coming from a costume party, there, pal?

LUCIFER
I beg your pardon.

WAITER
What's with the get-up?

LUCIFER
This is my work outfit.

WAITER
Where the Hell do you work?

LUCIFER
That's right.

WAITER
Huh? Never mind. Besides,
I kind of like the cape. Is that

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