by Denise Baer

Created on: August 18, 2009   Last Updated: August 20, 2009

I had to read this question a few times to grasp the notion that someone would only blame men for abandoning relationship responsibilities in today's times. It is a disservice to both genders to assume one is to blame for the lack of relationships, or successful ones. Between the freedom women gained and technology, relationships are losing momentum for these reasons along with many other factors. These days, different lifestyles seem to grow in popularity, therefore allowing for more choices. When you have more choices, the most common one does not look so appetizing anymore.

Women also escape responsibility in modern-day relationships. With women going to college and achieving the same kinds of careers as men along with pay, they are slowly beginning to change their minds about the molecular structure of family. Questions such as, "Why do I need a husband to have children?" or, "I don't want children, so why lose my freedom to marriage?" are growing and acted on. Back in the day, very few women attended college, so other than going to secretarial school many married for lack of choices.

I do not mean to sound like I am blaming or abandoning my gender, but women tend to lead with the heart more so than the head and abandon ownership with this growing issue. Take for instance the movie He's Just Not That Into You, which reveals how women do not see what is deflecting men even when it is obvious, although there are instances where the guy is just hopeless. Furthermore, to add to the frustration of the not knowing, manners on how to act and what things suggest is due to the growth of technology.

When I was younger, all I had to deal with was the telephone (let us get this straight, not a cell phone) - a telephone to be asked out or rejected, or we met in person to do the break up. Nowadays, the dating scene is competing with all forms of technology, and you can easily lose your woman or man through MySpace, Facebook or texting. Does the multitude of technologies make it easier for men to escape responsibilities? Yes, but the same goes for women. I have seen women out there doing some mean things too. Escaping relationship responsibility is not a gender-specific problem.

For the most part, men and women still try to understand what makes the other gender tick. I think that is the biggest mistake of both genders, because science can speculate along with studies but in reality, we will never know. It is not the fact of understanding what makes either gender tick, but knowing the differences and accepting them. In order for anyone, men or women, to search for a relationship they have to first know who they are and what they are willing to give in a relationship. After that, it is finding your way through the slush pile of unacceptable imperfections until you find the perfect book that will last through time.

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