by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: August 18, 2009

It is so easy to fall in love and when we do, we forget many of the things that we once knew in our brains, allowing our hearts to take over. While this is certainly exciting and refreshing for a time, it is often not based in reality. When we fall in love with someone who is of a different ethnicity than we are, we should at least be prepared for the fact that not everybody is going to see things the way that we do and there may also be some challenges in the relationship that others won't experience.

The first issue is probably going to be introducing your new love to your family. Unless you have one of the most open families in the world, there is going to be a reaction that there would not be if you were bringing someone home who shared your ethnicity. I am not even implying that they are prejudiced in any way, only that it is always somewhat shocking to see your own child with someone who, on the outside, looks different. The reaction may not even be a bad one, per se, but it is something that the two of you should be prepared for.

Many ethnicities, especially if the families are not far removed generationally from the native homeland, have an extremely strong sense of culture that a person who is not of that same ethnicity may not be able to understand. An effort should be made to familiarize yourself with the cultures and traditions of the one you love in order to make your life together comfortable for both of you. This will usually also endear a bit more to the family! Educating yourself is like a two for the price of one opportunity.

Respect for these traditions, cultures, and their importance within the family cannot be stressed enough if you are to enjoy a healthy relationship with someone of differing ethnicity. Never make fun or take them lightly and always do all that you can to enable your partner to take part in the things that are important to him/her.

If you have children, as most married couples will at some point, there will be yet more compromises to be made regarding their upbringing. If there are dual religions in the home, how will these be imparted to the child? If there are multiple ways of celebrating the holidays, how will you accommodate both? These, and many other issues, are things that you would do well to consider before you begin your family.

Overall, the issue is how much you and your partner are willing to give in order to enjoy a healthy and happy life together. It will take a bit more work than you may be used to if you have formerly been with partners of the same ethnicity. If it's true love, though, it will be worth it!

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