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There are many ways to form a loving bond with your baby; a lot of it can be done prenatally. Nine months is a good length of time to get prepared mentally, physically, and emotionally for the arrival of your baby. Besides readying the nursery, creating a baby registry, attending your shower, and going to multiple doctor appointments, you also need to focus within on the life growing inside you. So how do you get started? Here are some tips I've used for both pregnancies:

First, at about 25-26 weeks, your baby can hear you pretty well through the belly. This is a great time to make the most of those little ears tuning in. You can sing if you like, or talk to your baby. Sure maybe you don't want to have long conversations with your bump, but you can say things like, "Okay, you're kicking, let's go eat something," or "Wow, that was a good kick." Starting to talk to your baby is a way to acknowledge that he/she is a part of your family and, although they might not mind either way, it's a nice gesture and starts to prepare you for parenthood.

Also, in order to foster and not hinder the bonding process post-birth, you need to have a realistic view of labor, birth, and motherhood. Read "What to Expect", join a moms' group online like Baby Center or Cafe Mom. Talk to friends and relatives about their birth experience and how their lives changed post-baby; this will put you in the right mindset. Having unrealistic expectations or a fairy-tail view of birth and motherhood will ultimately lead to disappointment, and make it harder to bond. Know that labor is going to be long and painful, it's okay, you'll get through it. Know that early postpartum days are rough, you will feel like you've been hit by a Mack truck, but you'll make it. Remember, no matter how hard your labor is or if it doesn't go anything like you wanted - which it probably won't - it doesn't matter as long as you have a healthy baby.

Finally, once Baby comes, the real bonding begins. Some people seem stern and very authoritarian with their babies, stating that they should never co-sleep or be breastfed because it spoils them. I disagree, it's all about what's best for you and your baby. I personally have found it's much better to have my newborn in the room next to my bed where I can keep an eye on his breathing, than in a room across the hall; call me crazy. Also, breastfeeding is the best start you can give your baby, says countless doctors, nurses, and mothers. A lot of mothers don't have the time or patience to breastfeed, but it is said to reduce the risk of SIDS by half. Breastfeeding also makes you sit down and RELAX. You and Baby get that quality cuddle time and, to me, there is no replacement for nursing.

Bonding with your baby may come naturally upon birth or it may take awhile, either way is fine. Just stay flexible, remember your plans will be tentative from now on, Baby comes first. Keep a realistic view of motherhood, talk with other moms, stay educated on baby/toddler subjects, and you will do just fine. Enjoy your bundle of joy, they get big so fast.

Learn more about this author, Rebecca K..
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