by Maynard Black

Created on: August 17, 2009   Last Updated: September 17, 2009

Your heart begins to thump in your chest as you catch sight of her out of the corner of your eye. Your hands tremble and shake as you admire her long wavy hair and her amazing figure. Sickness rises in your stomach as you stand there and wish that you could be with her. Your wobbly knees start to give out as you fail to muster the courage to go talk to her. She walks away, leaving you standing there in a puddle of what used to be your self-esteem.

Then the negative self-talk kicks in:

"Why couldn't I talk to her? I'm such a loser."

"Doesn't matter anyway, she would never be interested in me..."

"She probably has a boyfriend so it wouldn't have mattered..."

Most of us have experienced something like this at some point in our lives. The difference is that some of us learn from it and some of us don't. Which person are you? Are you going to allow yourself to experience this over and over again? Or... Can you learn and adapt so that next time you reach a different outcome?

Talking to women can be the most difficult thing a man ever has to learn. Some never actually do. Others just seem to come by it naturally, which makes us think that we all should be like that. Granted, some guys just have an easier time walking up and talking to any woman they see, however, the rest of us have to learn.

It's a normal thing to think that you should just naturally have those skills. Do you think that Tiger Woods just picked up some golf clubs and was suddenly amazing? Do you think that Michael Jordan picked up a basketball one day, and then won six NBA championships a couple weeks later? Sure, some people have natural talent but even people with talent have to work hard if they want to be good at something.

Will you ever be a professional basketball player or join the PGA tour? Probably not, but if you're willing to put in the time, hard work and practice, you can still be pretty darn good. The same goes for talking, approaching, and asking a woman out on a date. Will you ever be able to pick up women like Brad Pitt or George Clooney? Probably not, but you can still master some skills that will make you pretty good at it.

Let's talk about some of the things you're going to need to master in order to be successful asking women out on dates...

CONFIDENCE

I know you've heard this one before. That's what everyone says right?

"Be confident. Be yourself."

Sort of ironic isn't it? It's interesting for someone to tell you to be confident and be yourself all at the same time, especially

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