In the midst of planning my own wedding just one short year ago, I engaged in a gushy email exchange with a female coworker. "Where are you going on your honeymoon?" she had typed, before revealing that she and her own husband had forgone the post-ceremony vacation. "We couldn't afford it," she admitted. "We're still paying for the wedding, and I have a feeling we will be for the rest of our lives."

While my coworker was probably seeking a sympathetic ear, (or eye, as it may be with email,) I could not relate in the least. The very idea of spending a lifetime paying for a one-day celebration seems outlandish, and even foolish, considering the myriad of resources that are available to assist one in saving money on the big day.

My feeling, when it comes to the world of wedding "dos" and "dont's" may best be described in one word: don't. Don't compete with other couples. Don't max out your credit cards. Most importantly, don't succumb to the hype of the wedding industry. The fact of the matter is that weddings are indeed an enormously profitable industry, and when the pressure is on to create the most special and memorable day of your entire life, it is easy to feel like you will be letting someone, or yourself, down by not spending a mint. However, by following a few simple "dos" and "dont's", any couple can avoid the sky-high bills, and still enjoy a lovely and elegant wedding.

First and foremost, don't underestimate the power of a simple wedding. It is incredibly easy to be overcome by the idea that weddings must be opulent and lavish. Instead of aiming for the "wow" wedding, (which at this point is somewhat overdone and perhaps even expected) go for the most fun wedding, with a late-night ceremony and dance party. Or perhaps the most laid-back wedding, with a backyard barbecue. Do not be afraid to let your own personality shine through. Dozens of websites, such as Ourmarriage.com, offer advice on how to plan a unique affair. After my own betrothal, many guests commented that they felt it was the most meaningful wedding they had ever witnessed. I'll take this over the "wow" factor any day.

Don't get sucked in to dress mania. I was very surprised when even my most frugal friends scoffed at my goal of finding a bridal gown for $300 or less. Scoffers be advised- it is entirely feasible to find a gorgeous dress at this price point. At Kleinfeld's? Well, no, of course not. This is when it will definitely pay off to surf the internet for options.

Consider buying a used wedding dress. Many women are willing to spend thousands of dollars to wear a dress for only one day, then will sell it for a fraction of the price on websites such as Ebay or Craigslist. As sad as this may be, you also will find women who purchased the dress, and never had the wedding. (Bummer, I know. But I'll bet she'll be glad to get the dress off her hands and into yours.)

Dillard'shas an online selection of bridal dresses that is not extensive, but it is quite competitively priced. (Click on Women's Apparel, Dresses & Special Occasion, then Wedding Dresses. Easy!) I found my dress online at Nordstrom. The cost of the dress was $111, and I spent $100 on alterations. This brought the total cost of my dress to almost a full $100 under my budget.

Additionally, there is very little risk involved with purchasing online. Nordstrom, along with most online department stores, includes a return label with the original shipment. The gown itself in no way compromised how I wanted to look and feel on my wedding day. In fact, I would say that it even exceeded my expectations and was quite perfect, since it came in the petite size I required and didn't even need to be hemmed.

Do keep the guest list to a reasonable number. Think of your wedding as a personal and intimate affair in which a chosen few have been invited to witness your union. Or, think of it in paparazzi terms; why would anyone care about the parties that everyone and their mothers are invited to? There is mystique in exclusivity. (Plus, your great-great-Aunt Sally whom you have not seen since you were four will not be offended if she is not invited. I swear.)

Don't blow the budget on paper goods. People throw these out. Enough said. I decided to forgo ceremony programs, which are always left under guests' chairs. We also skipped dinner place cards and let each guest choose his or her own seat. It was certainly an effective primer for mingling and mixing. If you wish to reserve and a table for you and your honey, a simple "Reserved" card will do.

For the essentials, such as the invitations, consider Vistaprint. They have a huge assortment of wedding designs from which to choose, and include all of the bells and whistles such as matching envelopes. 123 Printis another excellent online resource for everything from save the dates, to invitations, to RSVP cards. If you wish to go local, check out your nearest scrapbooking store. Many offer free or low-cost paper workshops that are suitable even for the creatively impaired.

Don't go overboard on flowers. Think of flowers as an accent to the beauty of your venue; do not rely on them to create the beauty. It takes an awful lot of flowers (which will die in a matter of days,) to create a lush floral scene. Stick to the essentials, such as corsages, boutonnieres, and a bouquet. Or, for an alternative to the traditional bridal bouquet, which you do not end up holding for most of the time anyway, try a small pomander or wrist corsage. Costco offers a very reasonably priced floral wedding package. Other wholesale sites, such as The Flower Exchange, offer amazing deals. You can find white roses for as low as 98 cents per stem. While there is some do-it-yourselfing involved with wholesale flowers, most websites, such as American Floral Distributors, do sell the supplies you will need, such as corsage stems, bouquet wraps, and lapel pins.

Do prioritize, and invest in your number one priority (but, don't be afraid to negotiate prices.) This is key to having a wedding that is still a delightful experience, and doesn't necessarily feel like a venture in which you clenched your wallet tightly. For me and my husband, we decided to splurge on an open bar, along with a plentiful and delicious buffet dinner, and cupcakes for dessert. We chose three local businesses to provide these services, and were grateful to be able to contribute to our town's economy. Most of all, however, we felt that when given the opportunity to indulge, our guests did not notice other areas in which we felt we had "cut corners." Any guest would notice if his or her belly growled throughout the entire reception; no one noticed that we decided to forgo a three-tiered wedding cake with a rhinestone-encrusted topper.

Do consider skipping the photographer. If you wish to maximize the amount of time you get to spend with your guests, this is the easiest way to do it. Plus, it is the digital age, meaning that all of your guests will have cameras, and can easily email you their photos. Websites such as Snapfish will even allow you to create a site where all of your guests can upload and share their photos. If flawless keepsake photos are the most important thing to you about your big day, find a photography student at your nearest college who will be willing to capture the event. Many art students will be excited to list your event on a resume, or include your photos in a portfolio. Try negotiating a lower price with the promise of a complimentary letter of reference. There is nothing wrong with bartering, or the exchanging services, to find the price that you desire.

Do make sure to secure the essentials. Some costs are unavoidable, such as the marriage license, and the officiant. Having trouble finding the essentials? Wedplan provides a free service that helps to connect you with local officiants, and much more. WeddingCeremony.orgprovides an incredibly easy to use list of officiants, searchable by state. Or, if you have a brave friend, he or she can be ordained online at the Universal Life Church Monastery. (You may just want to ask him to refrain from telling any embarassing personal anecdotes during your ceremony. This type of behavior is reserved for toasts.)

Do surf the web for coupons. Try a simple Google search for the company from which you intend to buy, plus the word "coupon." If you have never tried this before, you will be shocked and delighted. When ordering my wedding band from Blue Nile, a highly reputable online diamond and jewelry store, my husband and I found an online coupon for 10% off any purchase. When making this sort of investment, 10% off can most certainly mean substantial savings. In fact, my husband commented that he regretted not searching for a coupon when ordering my engagement ring.

I once heard a wedding planner on television exclaim, "People ask me, how can you spend that much money on one day? I say, if you have the money, how can you not?" Remember the imperative part of this phrase- "if you have the money." What if you are like the majority of the population, and you don't have enough money saved up to buy a small farm? Spend only what you have. Don't think that plastic will solve your woes. Spend within your means. Your future will thank you.

Learn more about this author, Susan Z. Miller.
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