by Susan Z. Miller

Created on: August 17, 2009   Last Updated: August 26, 2009

In the midst of planning my own wedding just one short year ago, I engaged in a gushy email exchange with a female coworker. "Where are you going on your honeymoon?" she had typed, before revealing that she and her own husband had forgone the post-ceremony vacation. "We couldn't afford it," she admitted. "We're still paying for the wedding, and I have a feeling we will be for the rest of our lives."

While my coworker was probably seeking a sympathetic ear, (or eye, as it may be with email,) I could not relate in the least. The very idea of spending a lifetime paying for a one-day celebration seems outlandish, and even foolish, considering the myriad of resources that are available to assist one in saving money on the big day.

My feeling, when it comes to the world of wedding "dos" and "dont's" may best be described in one word: don't. Don't compete with other couples. Don't max out your credit cards. Most importantly, don't succumb to the hype of the wedding industry. The fact of the matter is that weddings are indeed an enormously profitable industry, and when the pressure is on to create the most special and memorable day of your entire life, it is easy to feel like you will be letting someone, or yourself, down by not spending a mint. However, by following a few simple "dos" and "dont's", any couple can avoid the sky-high bills, and still enjoy a lovely and elegant wedding.

First and foremost, don't underestimate the power of a simple wedding. It is incredibly easy to be overcome by the idea that weddings must be opulent and lavish. Instead of aiming for the "wow" wedding, (which at this point is somewhat overdone and perhaps even expected) go for the most fun wedding, with a late-night ceremony and dance party. Or perhaps the most laid-back wedding, with a backyard barbecue. Do not be afraid to let your own personality shine through. Dozens of websites, such as Ourmarriage.com, offer advice on how to plan a unique affair. After my own betrothal, many guests commented that they felt it was the most meaningful wedding they had ever witnessed. I'll take this over the "wow" factor any day.

Don't get sucked in to dress mania. I was very surprised when even my most frugal friends scoffed at my goal of finding a bridal gown for $300 or less. Scoffers be advised- it is entirely feasible to find a gorgeous dress at this price point. At Kleinfeld's? Well, no, of course not. This is when it will definitely pay off to surf the internet for options.

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