by Kathleen Sihock

Created on: August 16, 2009   Last Updated: August 17, 2009

Does Anyone Buy Cigarettes Anymore?

Yes, as a matter of fact they do. I quit smoking for over ten years, but then my Mom passed away, and 3 days later the City people came to my door, saying that there were no permits on our patio, which my Dad built before I was born. Although, I had seen the permits for the patio a few years previous to this, the City still insisted that there were none. We went round, and round with them to no avail.

I found out through a reliable source, that our beloved City did away with all the permits from the pre 1960's, but, my hands were tied. I was forced into getting a mortgage I could not afford, and lived life in a nightmare. Hounded by City building, and safety workers. Threatend with a big fine, and jail time, I became in fear of even seeing a truck that resembled theirs, going down my block, for fear that it was the City again. All in the middle of this I had to lay my Mother to rest, and was completing an adoption of my 2 girls. This was a very stressful time in my life, and it just got to be too much to handle.

So, after 10 years, of not even thinking about smoking, my Brother-in-law comes to live with us, and paid rent to help with the mortgage, and yes, you guessed it... He was a smoker.

Every night when I went to bed, I could smell the smoke from his cigarettes, and it started getting to me... Finally one day, after the City had came back to my house to sign off things I had fixed, I was so nervous, and stressed with them there, that after they left, I asked my Brother-in-law for a cigarette.

It was like trying to smoke for the first time again. I choked, I didn't know how to inhale it anymore, and when to exhale, and I started coughing..So I put it out, and said that was it. But then later on that night, I thought I would give it another shot.

This time it was much easier, I didn't choke, and cough, it even started to feel good. I was a little light-headed from the nicotine but, I felt so much more relaxed, and less stressed. I told myself this would be the only time I would do this, but then about a week later I couldn't take it anymore, and found myself at the store, and low and behold, there were the cigarettes. I tried to fight it but, I let temptation get the best of me, and bought a pack.

I would only smoke when I was in the car, as I didn't want my husband knowing about it. Then, as weeks went on, I was craving nicotine again. My husband was off work, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted a cigarette so badly. Well, I thought I am just going to be brave, and light up in front of him, which I did.

Well, that did not go well at all. We got into a fight, and he was very angry with me, and I understood why, but with all the stress I had been through I told him I was sorry, but I had started smoking again.

Now, it has been about six months, and still I am smoking but, it doesn't really relieve the stress like it used to, and it isn't fun anymore. But, I am addicted to it again, and am looking for a way to quit.

So, my advice to all the non-smokers is, please don't start smoking, and if you have quit, don't look to cigarettes again as a way out of your stress, you will just get hooked again, and it isn't worth it.

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