by Heather Harris

Created on: August 16, 2009

It's easy to be a doormat. Why? Because doormats don't have to do anything, make any decisions, confront any troubles or deal with any problems on their own.

The trash didn't get taken out? Well, did someone forget to boss them into taking it? Did the bills not get paid? Well, why didn't someone tell them to do it?

The simple reason why some people, especially men, act as doormats to spouses or girlfriends is that it relieves them of having to make decisions, take an active role in family life or have control of stressful situations. It is much easier to cost through and passively-aggressively let someone else think they are being bossy, when in fact they are the ones actually taking control of vital situations.

The typical doormat is viewed as someone with no views or someone willing to let their views be overwhelmed by those of the more dominant partner. The reason some men take so willingly to this role is that it is much easier to have no views and simply go with the flow. There are many that would rather sit in the recliner and let the hassles of life go on around them and act as if real world problems are out of their control due to a demanding partner.

Being a doormat is a cop-out to responsibility. It ensures that no major decisions will ever fall on the doormat's shoulders. Good and bad outcomes won't be blamed on the doormat and whatever happens will be through no fault of their own.

One half of a couple acting as a doormat is destructive to any relationship. It pits one partner as the child and one as the adult, when there should be an equal sharing of responsibilities and life concerns. This kind of passive-aggressive behavior is rampant. A good example would be the husband who is mad at his wife and, being a doormat, refuses to confront her verbally, but instead forgets to take out the garbage.

Doormats are often viewed as weak, bendable people that are controlled by someone else. The sad truth is that doormats usually enjoy their position in life. They want to be controlled. They either feel too insecure to make their own judgments or are simply to lazy to try. On the opposite side, the partner that is not the doormat is viewed as over-the-top, judgmental, bossy and just plain mean. This makes the doormat look, and feel, even better.

In a nutshell, being a doormat is a reversion to a child-like state of faux innocence that releases the doormat from any responsibility. And to the chagrin and frustration of many women in the world, is becoming a more and more common personality trait of today's man.

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