by Aisling Ashbery

Created on: August 16, 2009   Last Updated: August 18, 2009

"One Small Step"

CHARACTERS:
Neil: an astronaut. In his helmet he has an earpiece that he uses to communicate with Houston, but for the sake of the actor and audience the helmet doesn't cover Neil's face.

Joe: an alien.

*Note: Stage directions are in <brackets> instead of italics since Helium doesn't support special text.

<Lights up on Neil, who is standing in the threshold of his space craft. He has just landed on the moon and is surveying the surrounding area.>

NEIL:
Well, it's beautiful, Houston, just beautiful. It's like ... like a large mass of rock and dirt that was pulled into our orbit and bombarded with meteors and passing debris for eons. Wow, I should've been a poet.

<Neil prepares to leap down from his ship.>

NEIL:
All right, Houston, here it goes. That camera working? Ok, good. All right, here I go. One small ... one small step ... for man ...

<He tries to leap but stops himself>

NEIL:
Ok, that was just for practice. All right, one small step for man ... on three. One, two, one small ... you know, that looks like a long way down. I wouldn't call that a small step, Houston. More like a giant leap. Hey! That's good! To think I could've had a job writing for Saturday Night Live ... wait a minute, is that an anachronism? All right, all right Houston, don't get pushy! Here I go.

<Neil closes his eyes and holds his nose, and finally jumps. All the commotion has attracted the attention of Joe, who creeps cautiously on set from stage left.>

NEIL:
GERONIMO!

JOE: (so that Neil can't hear him)
Geronimo?

<Neil straightens up and brushes himself off. As Neil speaks his next lines, Joe cautiously follows behind him, always hiding if Neil turns around to look.>

Neil:
Well, Houston it's wonderful. Just imagining the epochs and epochs that have gone by without a single living foot treading upon this soil ... ah, that's a beautiful feeling, Houston. Nope, nope. It's completely barren. No signs of life at all. Who could imagine there being life on this god-forsaken rock? Nope, nope ... just one more pea of proof that when it comes to this great universe, we are utterly and completely ...

<On the next word, Neil and Joe finally see each other.>

Neil:
Alone!

JOE:
Geronimo!

< They startle each other and run behind a crater to hide. The two slowly peek around their respective craters.>

NEIL:
Leapin' Lightyears!

JOE:
Geronimo!

NEIL:
There must be a leak in the air! I'm ... I'm

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