by Rikijeanne

Created on: August 15, 2009   Last Updated: August 17, 2009

There is a simple guideline to remember first and foremost, when talking about or to people with disabilities. You would think most people by now would know about it. It is simply this: You do not know our limitations. We may not be certain, either, for the moment; but we are only disabled as far as the world labels us.

Everyone on this planet has turning points in life, everyone will or has already suffered a "disability". It may not be due to an injury or birth defect, but even aging is accompanied by certain disabilities. How do you talk about these people? With the exact same respect you would use when speaking about or to anyone else. We do not want people to feel sorry for us, we do not want to play the martyr. We all may have different needs or require help at some point in our lives, but why would we speak any differently about each other. You could easily say for example, the woman I work with has some difficulties, but she is working them out.

I know it's hard to find a way to describe someone with a disability; even my own family has trouble. I recently offered to come to my Mother's new house and unpack dishes or nick knacks for her. Her unthinking reply of, "Oh, you're crippled," almost knocked me out of my chair. You would have thought that might deter me, but I am a fighter; a slightly-used one, but still able to do a host of things. Yes, I persisted and asked her, wouldn't it be nice if your crippled daughter was the only one who came to help you unpack those dishes? Wow, super slightly-used daughter to the rescue! She laughed, apologized, and invited me over for lunch; she made the lunch, while I unpacked the dishes. See, it's not so hard to talk about disabled people.

People like to coin different phrases like handicapped, slow, retarded, special, all uttered in low, almost ashamed-sounding voices. It's those same type of people who used to whisper the words, half-breeds, blacks and wetbacks. Now, over the years, we have become so diversified, some of the name-calling has stopped, or has it just changed.

Now, people are specializing in politically correct words, phrases and guidelines, for speaking to and about, anyone who is different. Maybe if we stop trying to put everyone into categories, we could see that, we are "ALL" created equal, not the same, just equal. We were all created by the same God.

So, I tell you now, as one of God's "slightly used and imperfect" creations, I would like people to talk about me as they would any other brother or sister in their family, with love and kindness, no more, no less.

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