by Margo Macabee

Created on: August 15, 2009

I have heard ex-dancers I completely respect and admire tell me exotic dancing was almost spiritually empowering to them. This was not my personal experience in twelve years on stage and I still argue with myself about wishing I saw it their way or praying they saw it mine.

I learned even if a man complimented my beautiful, long brown hair, it was a lie. I truly have some serious locks. But, it was the compliment that was a lie. His stated interest to my hair was false and his words, and words like them, were a tool and that tool's only purpose was to chisel away at another's innocence. The deceitful tools of their selfish agenda only destroy the pure, wholesome trust of an innocent mind.

In the loss of the innocence beyond my virginity, I could see nothing but married men, complaining about their wives while their arm was tossed fondly over my tanned, shapely and exposed shoulders, purchasing my fictional smile and my awe of, and interest in their manhood.

Sometimes it would take only one song; sometimes it would take months for the question to arise: Can I take you to dinner/hotel/Bahamas/bed? And I would be faced with telling the truth and saying 'no' or lying, make the date and stand him up.

The clubs I was trained in early on didn't allow us to make dates and said spotters would check, so I would say 'no' to the invitation. Then, every compliment the man told me to fuel emotional, not financial, interest in him proved to be fiction because I would be immediately excused with a cold, dismissive attitude and he would treat me like I had just played him. But I couldn't believe he truly thought that either. It was just another conversational tool to get me to leave and he could pursue the next prospective dancer.

One thing I call fact is each exotic dancer makes their own job for themselves under the umbrella term: exotic dancing. Each dancer has a personal limit of how far they will 'go' while working, no matter how much money the man is offering. Not only do they have limits of physical liberties, but conversational, visual, subject matter, sexual interests and social behavior. But sometimes the job changes as the dancer's limits are broken to keep the intoxicating fictions factual and nourished in her mind.

To give men the equality of many different personal reasons for going into a club where pretty young ladies dance nude for money, a fact is quite a few men didn't ask the dancers out and didn't complain about how their wives crushed them.

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