by Sussa Bailey

Created on: August 15, 2009

Johnny Cash sings in a broken sing-talk voice: The Man Comes Around. And when that Man comes around there will be judgment for some and salvation for others. Live your life with respect and dignity, because the Man will come around: for all of us. Johnny continues: hear the trumpets, hear the pipers.

Life is sweet, death is bitter. As I faced death, I discovered life. I came to a point where life was not a promise of paradise anymore, it was a dark hole, and there was no reason to get excited about the future. The human race disappointed me on so many levels. I took life too seriously, too personally. Only once I'd taste tested death was I able to comprehend and appreciate the raw and basic beauty of the value of life. By facing the dark face of death, something remarkable turned in me and I realised it is not time to leave yet.

TIME is the tracker of LIFE, eventually DEATH stops life abruptly, and ironically time is the healer of all things. As time healed me I became aware of the obstacles that prevented me from living. Habits that were generated from fears established by others and institutions telling me how life should be lived. One-by-one I had to wave goodbye to the habits of culture, circumstances, by-proxy and introduce the self to the self. I had to coldly and mercilessly move in for the kill. The road to recovery and finding thyself is painful, long and hard. It was time for me to put the little adrenaline I had left in my legs, jump and devour my suicidal trip like a cheetah. Sometimes I feel like I've gained something, a victory. Sometimes I feel sad, to grow and go forward as a human being you have to loose and get rid of things that once were very precious or personal to you.

Fact: I am a very small and vulnerability little living being on this GREAT ball called Mother Earth. On my long road to suicide I realized that life cannot be twisted and turned like a rope. LIFE is a beautiful, old river and it will flow its course. Be patient and get into the flow of life. Do not resist the power of the flow. Do not tire yourself by trying to paddle upstream, accept the force of the flow, be assured around the corner there will be less rapids.

When LIFE is hard, and things are not going your way, do not assume it will always be Winter. We have to go through Winter to get to Summer. Anyway it is during Winter most growth occurs.

Climb out of your skin and look at yourself from a distance, with perspective. Make sure to manage your TIME to live LIFE to the fullest before DEATH knocks on your door. But most of all remember M Scott Peck's words: Ultimately LOVE is everything. I sincerely wish you find LOVE. It was the greatest discovery in my life. And when you find LOVE do remember to say I love you to your loved one(s) as much as you can.

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