by JerinWI

Created on: August 15, 2009   Last Updated: August 28, 2009

Here is where we need to go "Back To Basics".

First we need to know that we are really with the right partner. You know, the kind of significant other that you want to grow old with. This is the single most important thing that needs to be addressed. COME ON people! If you don't see yourself with that special person for who they are, and love them with a full hearted love, then how can you expect to experience the best sex you can stoke up?

I'm not saying that sex can't be good with somebody that you don't truly love. I'm sure, (depending on your own morals, along with sexual needs at that specific time), the sex could be fantastic! However,what I am saying is that it is not the same as putting true feelings into the efforts of making love to that special person. If the feelings are not there to begin with, the luster will wear out fast. That will, in turn, let the bed time play fall short of the big "O" from time to time. Most of the time, the one getting cheated out of the "mind blowing spasm", is the female.(It can, and does happen to males as well). Soon it turns to routine, and the one being left behind, in the orgasm field, will turn to somebody new to find that excitement again.

This is not always the case. People that truly love one and other can have the "bedroom blues" as well. This is where it gets tricky. The very first thing you need to do, is look in the mirror. If you are looking back at yourself, and saying that you are not putting forth a full effort in the sack, then explore the reasons why.

-Are you exhausted physically?

-Do you ever just plain not want to do it, but do it anyhow? (This happens alot) If you think you are doing your partner a favor by "laying it out there for the taking", you are terribly wrong. Your partner can feel that you are not "connecting". At that point, your partner will start looking for problems that may not even really exist. If you don't feel like making love, then DON'T. Explain to your partner that you are not ready, and tell them why. You may be tired from work, sore from other physical activity, ready for a "break" that night because you've had sex with your partner every night for the last week.... All of these "excuses" , your partner should fully respect. "If they need it that bad, they will take care of themselves that night".

The biggest problem is falling into the same "comfort zone" routine. Even with the one you love. She may always want to lay on her back, and have him "drive it home". It's not bad,

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