by Kaitlyn Black

Created on: August 13, 2009   Last Updated: August 16, 2009

Walking through the grocery store six weeks post-partem with a cartful of healthy groceries-mostly food I cannot abide even to look at, such as raw vegetables, legumes and skim milk-and being assaulted with such headlines on the covers of women's magazines as "LOSE THE BABY WEIGHT NOW-OUR EXCLUSIVE THREE-WEEK PLAN!" or "HOW (insert celebrity) LOST THE WEIGHT!" was not conducive to much confidence regarding my new just-gave-birth figure.

My hubby found it quite gorgeous, glorifying my torpedo-like mammories, watermelon belly, and thunderous quadriceps now run to fat. Despite the effusive praise, all I could see was an elephant wearing a Cursive T-shirt. I cannot deceive you, here-I deplored my new figure. Looking back, now, I realize how silly it was to get upset over something so superficial and trivial, but at the time, it just seemed like the greatest tragedy in the life of Yours Truly.

Prior to pregnancy, you see, I was very active, swimming in college, hiking in my free time, and running when the weather was nice (or even not so nice.) I never measured my portions, I never bothered with overthinking healthy eating, and I enjoyed IHOP with my hubby when the hours we kept were most unholy.

Witnessing the headlines at the grocery store, finding my eyes bombarded with diet ads when I would check my email, and seeing other mothers a third my size with babies not much older than mine was discouraging. I wondered why I hadn't dropped weight faster. Wasn't nursing supposed to make the pounds fall off? They certainly seemed to be taking their time removing themselves from my waistline, even though I was nursing. The book on the first year following birth detailed that I ought to have lost more weight at the point at which I found myself, according to a national average.

"I feel so disgusting," I moaned to my mother one night my husband was working late. My daughter crawled up one great cow udder and cried.

"You just had a baby," said Mom. "It's only natural you should feel that way. See, I was lucky-within a month after having you I was back in my jeans."

I sat, wondering why that didn't comfort me in any way. It was nearly three months out for me, and still no jeans. Sighing, I thought about how I could lose more weight.

It started innocently, naturally; things of this nature tend to as a rule. I measured portions, changed my snacking habits, and took one helping at dinner. I switched from ordinary dessert fare following dinner to breakfast cereals, like

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