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Environmentalists, eco-warriors, tofu eaters, tree huggers call them what you will! We used to call them hippies and the police would beat them with truncheons. Now they have had a wash, a hair cut, put on a suit and started up the anti-progress band wagon again!

These vegetarian, carrot crunching, save the earth, flower power, nutters are on a quest to stop us all from living in the 21st century. Thinking we should all mull about on horse back with only lanterns to guide our way. They cycle about on our roads complaining about motor vehicles causing pollution. How do they think the bike got to the shop in the first place? They smash up 4x4s with baseball bats made from dead trees forcing insurance claims which require paper work, ergo more dead trees and Land Rover to manufacture and deliver more parts, hence more pollution!

I have an idea to put forward to them. If pollution is such a problem? All environmentalists should step forward and stand up for what they believe in. They should volunteer for slaughter. This would lower the population and in turn lower the amount of pollution we create as a race. Their bodies could be run through a mincer and used as fertiliser for a new tree planted in their honour.

This would surely keep everybody happy. The nutters get their trees and we normal guys get to carry on with our lives without fear of a maniac harassing us on the grounds of having a dead fly stuck to the bonnet of our car!

So come on all you eco-maniacs. Take a stand for what you believe in. Give yourself up for slaughter and everybody will be happy.

Come on, do it for our planet.

Learn more about this author, Rex Mcleod.
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