by Holly Russell

Created on: August 13, 2009

Teaching toddlers is a joy, and a frustration all in one. If you are a parent who likes everything just-so, and struggles with a lack of perfection then taking on teaching your toddlers to achieve chores will be challenging for you. Focus on those light-bulb moments when everything clicks into place for your child and you find them doing things without your detailed instruction. It is a beautiful thing to watch your 2 year old picking up their shoes without asking.

Wikepedia defines responsibility as "The obligation to carry forward an assigned task to a successful conclusion." For toddlers to reach the successful conclusion it requires lots of practice and many steps in between. The most important principle for teaching toddlers is that they must be praised and rewarded based on their efforts, not their results. You cannot wait for them to get it 100% right before praising them. They will feel defeated before they begin. Teaching toddlers is all about praise, hugs, smiles and lots and lots of encouragement. They have a natural willingness to help and enthusiasm for anything, but their abilities are limited. For small children results are secondary and will get better over time.

When my daughter was 18 months old we began the process of involving her in household tasks. It is important that they see this as being involved in what you and the family are doing. They are not being punished, they are fulfilling their role within the family. Helping Mommy or Daddy is something they naturally want to do, and if you can put things in place while this is a desire, then it will pay off long after they have developed interests of their own instead of total interest in what you do.

Begin with things they cannot mess up. It is important for their first jobs to be fool-proof. Too much correction or instruction can make them feel defeated before they even begin. My one year old helps with the laundry. I have a front-loader and she can reach to put the sorted clothes into the machine, and that is now her job. My 3 year old separates the colors for me. After the clothes are dry my older daughter puts away the wash cloths, dish towels, her own socks and undies, and Daddy's socks. It makes laundry much slower than when I do it myself, but in keeping up with this training, I will have a 7 year old who is capable of doing a load of washing and putting it away. What a wonderful help that will be!

Learning to do chores should also include caring for their

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