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She had wiry blond hair
and a wide, almost-always smiling
mouth and light blue eyes.

We drove Miss Schnell crazy,
trading shoes
after Eurythmy class-
hers floating around my feet,
mine squeezing a funny look onto her face.

Her shockingly hippie parents
made my mom's lips disappear
when they picked Clair up
from my sixth birthday party.

She was the first person
I ever wanted to be.

I envied her peasant dresses
bought at second hand stores
and her broken-in bandannas.

With no brothers and sisters
to demand attention
she got it all.
Wth a bedroom to herself
and an entire playroom
full of wooden blocks,
cloth dolls and bees wax
to sculpt.

We didn't see each other
the entire summer
between First and Second grade
but I kept a running list
in my head,
of all the things I would tell her
on the first day of school:
The cat having kittens
on my bed
and the trip to Lake George
where I got a stuffed black bear,
and the thunderstorm
when the sky all around turned green.

But she didn't come to our school
the next year.

And that was the beginning
of my distance.

Learn more about this author, Kat Apf.
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