by Giovana Velazquez

Created on: August 12, 2009   Last Updated: August 14, 2009

We make an incredible effort to achieve happiness, but once found, we get confident and stop trying. When in fact, maintaining that state of happiness can be harder than achieving it. In my opinion, having a successful relationship is all about being feeling fulfilled.

The word fulfilled may mean different things from one person to another; so I can only share my female perspective on what it means to me. I know that my husband is fulfilled in our relationship. Because he is still the same man I fell in love with and year in and year out, our relationship keeps getting better and better.

We both know each others' love language; for instance, my husband's love language is affirmation, he likes to get recognition for a job well done. Giving him affirmation in his role as the male of our home is an easy job. I text him (courtesy of technology) or email him (goes right to his phone) to let him know how much I appreciate hanging a picture on the wall, doing the yard or simply for being the provider of our home. When was the last time you praised your partner for something he did?

Couples also need to be fulfilled in the bedroom department, and that means making an effort to be visually pleasant. Now, I know this is a tough subject, tougher for women than it is for men. Pregnancies change our bodies, etc. But being visually pleasant doesn't mean having the perfect body or being hot. Everyone has a strong point and I suggest to accentuate your assets. If it is your eyes; go for the smoky effect, which can be achieved even in pastel colors (perfect for day time, has a more natural effect.) If it is your legs, get some nice shorts or sexy but casual skirt. Haven't been to the beach in a while? Try a self tanning lotion or lay in the back yard to achieve a gradual tan. Are you keeping your hair up to par? Do you use lotion to soften your skin?

I pointed these things out to a dear friend when she complained about the fact that her husband was not the same passionate man she married some three years ago, and her answer was, "That sounds like too much work."

And my reply was, "But whoever told you that being a woman was an easy task?'

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