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Created on: August 12, 2009 Last Updated: August 13, 2009
Modern horror movies have me screaming at the telly at 1000 decibels, not because I'm terrified no because the actors and actresses seem to do one stupid thing after another. Oh fear I've heard a strange noise coming from downstairs in the basement of this creepy old haunted house in the middle of nowhere, you would think at this point they would high-tail it out of there as any normal person would, but no I think you's can guess what the next sentence is that come out of one of their mouths "Let's go investigate" What! Are these people completely idiotic? Nobody in their right mind would go inside a haunted house to investigate a creepy noise or screams!
These movies have me demented by the time I'm finished watching them but like a faithful puppy, I go back for more and end repeating the whole sequence all over again. I would have say the top ten most stupidest things to do in a horror movie would be:
1. You're getting chased by a chainsaw wielding maniac - what do you do? Run up the stairs, yes you're going to finish top of your class.
2. You hearing screams come from a creepy haunted house on the end of town - what do you do? Go and investigate; well, we're never seeing you again.
3. You're stuck in a garage surrounded by tools, baseball bats and various other equipment, the killer is standing in the doorway - what do you do? That's right, you try and climb your fat ass through the cat flap. Hammer and head comes to my mind, not cat flap.
4. Your car breaks down outside the scariest looking house ever, You go up to the door and an even creepier guy answers the door covered head to toe in blood - what do you do? Still go into the house, asking to us the telephone, yes and then the telephone will then proceed to be used to bash your skull in.
5. You're getting tired and need to stop to rest you pull to the quaint looking "Bates Motel" - what do you do? Oh come on nobody's that stupid.
6. You've been invited to stay in an old abandoned criminally insane asylum - what do you do? You go it could be fun, I hope you enjoy a night of screaming pure scariness and eventual torturous death.
7. Your friends are running out of food and drink. They ask you to go and get some unbeknown to them a maniac is sitting in the kitchen - what do you do? Say I'll be right back. Oh you're so not coming back.
8. Your blond, popular and have big boobs - what do you do? Give yourself up now, it's pointless dragging it out.
9. Your boyfriend wants to have sex with you - what do you do? Do it; the virgin rule can't be true right? You're the next on the list.
10. Dum dum dum...Finally you run out of the house eventually after first running up the stairs. You see dark woods and a brightly lit house full of police - what do you do? Run into the woods of course! I give up.
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