by Natalie Main

Created on: August 12, 2009   Last Updated: August 20, 2009

Neopets. Its one simple word that has people going into a cold sweat, running out of the room screaming, or cowering in the corner rocking back and forth. You know who you are so don't deny it. I understand because I too am addicted that demoniacally run "children's site" which is secretly planning to take over the world one shoyru at a time, anyways thats for another article.

Although Neopets is highly addictive and utterly soul-destroying we're here to talk about another addiction caused by Neopets, Asparagus yes that's right. A survey a conducted myself show 1 in 300 Neopets users are actually addicted to asparagus as well, it does go nicely with a hot cup of borovan, OK stop drooling I know the rules take deep breathes.

That is why I've set up Asparagus Anonymous a self-help for Asparagus Addicts, follow these 10 simple rules and you'll be on your way to an asparagus free life.

1. Take one day at a time, don't let yourself waste stupid amounts of NP on Asparagus.

2. Set yourself targets, example "I'm only going to eat one stick today".

3. Try and gradually reduce your intake of asparagus.

4. Try not to freak out at everything green, in fact remove anything green from around you to make sure you don't go crazy.

5. Definitely DON'T wear green.

6. Take one day at a time, We have recipes below so you don't just eat asparagus by its self all day long, You need variety it will help you gradually wean yourself off.

7. Praise yourself, tell yourself you're doing well.

8. Follow the tips below as it's dangerous to completely take yourself off asparagus immediately, you may have a relapse that way.

9. Use friends and family as support, talk things through, Although they can show you the door you have to walk through it.

10. Oh and most importantly try not to get asparagus juice in your eye, it does sting.

Now you've read your guide and your starting to think more positively, remember take one day at a time and don't rush things you will get over this one day and the next step is to conquer the Neopets addiction so we can bring their world dominating schemes to an end. They're sending in the chia's I'm telling you sending in the chia's! Oh your staring at me well good luck hope my guide helps.

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