by Eric Goudie

Created on: August 12, 2009

Scene: The Office of the Mayor.

Dorothy (Dotty) Type, the mayor's older secretary is trying to leave for the day now that Misty Eyes, the mayor's younger secretary has returned to the office. Just as Misty is about to say good-bye and Dotty is about to leave Bibby Thumper, a young man of the cloth, comes barging in, yelling and waving a large book in his hand.

Thumper: Have you heard the word? I have heard the word! Have you seen the light? I have seen the light! Have you tasted the manna from heaven? I have tasted the manna from heaven! I have heard the word, seen the light, tasted the manna and it is good! I have been saved, my brothers from other mothers and my sisters from other misters! Sing his praises. Hallelujah!

Type: Good morning, Bibby.

Eyes: Bibby?

He sees Misty, and is instantly fixated upon her - a new potential convert - an a gorgeous one at that!

Thumper: And who is this angel I see before me?

Eyes: I'm Misty. Misty Eyes.

Thumper: Bibby Thumper. And this is your lucky day, because your salvation is at hand! Do you know the word?

Eyes: What word?

Thumper: The word! The word of the immortal prophet who said the word, who gave us the light so that we might see our way, who let us taste of the manna from heaven.

Eyes: I'm Presbyterian.

Thumper: Then you have not hear the word. You must be saved!

Eyes: I'm afraid I don't follow.

Type: He doesn't believe in the same God as you do.

Eyes: Well then what God does he believe in?

Thumper: I believe... I believe... in the one, the only, the ultimate word of the man, no, the immortal being, who has shown us the light. I am talking about The Player, the Bard, the most worthy of wordsmiths, His Excellency Mr. William Shakespeare of Stratford-upon-Avon! I must pray.

Bibby falls to his knees, opens the book to a well-worn page, and begins to mumble a sonnet to himself.

Eyes: Shakespeare?

Type: That's his God. He thinks Shakespeare is the greatest thing ever, so he founded a church in his name.

Eyes: A church?

Type: Oh yeah, with a prayer book and hymns and everything. He just has no place for the church to meet, so he comes in here every once in a while trying to get the mayor to let him use some municipal building for free, and when the mayor says no he starts getting all up in arms about freedom of religion.

Eyes: Does he have any parishioners?

Type: Of course not. Nobody worships Shakespeare, at least not as much as he does. I don't think he really does either. I think he's just lonely, and this is the only thing he can think of to get some attention.

Eyes: That's so sad. He hasn't got a hope and prayer, has he?

Type: I'm afraid not.

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