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Epidural

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Get the epidural. Duh!

I mean, when you got your impacted wisdom teeth removed, and the oral surgeon explained the procedure and told you how he would put you to sleep, did you even ask, "Is it really necessary to put me to sleep?"

"And hey, is it really necessary to take the oral numbing shots- all ten of them- AND the laughing gas?"

You just signed the papers and said, "Look, doc, just make sure it don't hurt."

When you entered that new apartment, isn't one of the important questions you had on your list: "Is there central heating/air conditioning?"

Did you, for a moment, consider that your great grandmother lived on a farm and had to wake up at five AM and bake bread on an open oven in 100 degree scorching weather and probably didn't even complain much about it?

And she lived with your quirky, sweet but often clueless grandfather... from the day she turned eighteen till the day she died. When your spouse gets annoying and demanding and taking care of another grown man (as grown as men get...) did you just grit your teeth and think, "My job is to be a saint, and I am going to handle whatever comes my way with patience and compassion, even though I work half a day too AND take care of the kids AND am up four times a night to nurse the five-month old."

Did you even actually nurse the five month old, after that first time in the hospital when you tried and you got those awful contractions and felt worse than during the actual birth, especially if you took epidural?

Did you ever just square your chin and consider, for a moment, that there may be some benefit to enduring pain? How many times did you do that in this generation and in this lifetime? why in the world did this even become a question all of a sudden when it comes to birth? How come birth is considered an experience while having a period, for example, is a nuisance, and nausea during pregnancy is a nuisance, and growing pains in marriage or in raising children are a nuisance?

Why is giving birth any different?

In our day and age, it's almost incumbent on a women to take the epidural and to make sure not to even ask what that is or if it is necessary (when your doctor prescribes medication for your cough, your cold, your sleeping difficulties, or your mental anguish, do you think twice and go to a naturalist for a second opinion or do you succumb and let the guy tell you what to do with your own body without understanding how the medication works, just as long as it gets rid of the pain? Why did women get so defensive about allowing other people to take over the experience of feeling your own body when it comes to birth? Why is it any different than wearing out a cold at home?) If you don't take epidural, you are in danger of upsetting the way we exist as humans today- that is, the more detached and the less we feel and are involved in life, the better.

Make sure to take your blackberry. Text through the birth. And don't forget to ask them to turn on the TV so you don't miss the latest installment of your favorite show, or you might just get a flash of reality in your life again... and then all your friends will think you've gone crazy!

The way this world worked... Well, is taking the epidural even a CHOICE?

Learn more about this author, Fay Winter.
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