I'd always thought that if a person showed emotion, he must be an open book. But this is not necessarily true. People suppress negative emotions all the time. Often, socially, it is not acceptable to show emotion at the time it occurs. But, if those negative emotions aren't dealt with eventually and processed, they can form the foundation of long-term resentment and life-time anger. The more negative emotions that we dismiss through the defense mechanism of suppression, the less emotionally healthy we become.

* Flashing Red and Yellow Lights *

Negative emotions are road signs that tell us something important about ourselves and how we are feeling about our life circumstances. If I get angry every time my supervisor is disrespectful to me but dismiss that emotion out of fear of retribution or as my own oversensitivity, I have done myself a huge disservice. I should be asking myself why I am feeling those negative emotions.

Many people believe that we should never feel or acknowledge negative emotions, but I believe that they are warning us that something is wrong. We should always pay attention to them.

* Back to My Supervisor's Disrespect. . . *

If she repeatedly berates me in front of my co-workers, I need to ask myself some questions:

* What incited my supervisor's anger?

* Was she mad about careless mistakes?

* Had I missed an important deadline?

* Was my mistake a costly one?

* Was her anger justified?

* Was she using me as a scapegoat for her own negative feelings?

* Is this part of a continuing pattern of undeserved blame and disrespect?

* Here's What I Did *

When I was in a similar situation, I met with my supervisor, privately, and told her that I was not going to tolerate being chastised by her publicly. I explained that if she had a problem with my work, she would have to address me in private. She agreed to do this and apologized. Later, though, when she reverted to her old behavior, I found another job and did my talking with my feet.

Problem solved.

* Really Stuck? *

But what if there had been no other job to run to? I would STILL need to deal with my negative emotions. So what would my recourse be?

I could:

* Go over my supervisor's head and discuss the matter with her boss;

* Talk to someone in the company's Human Resources

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