by Jobie Weetaluktuk

Created on: February 08, 2007   Last Updated: May 01, 2007

Understanding mother and child: A fathers' perspective

A middle-aged mother once said, "It is difficult thing to be a mother and a father." She had raised four children, mostly on her own since the death of her husband. She like many other women has to take on the role of mother and father. These two roles are distinct and separate, driven by personal nature as they are by gender.

First of all what is natural in parenting? That question is especially relevant today. In North America and Europe, the citizen, legislator, and the courts thereof have redefined parenting. Then there is the norm in any given culture, geopolitical setting, and subcultures within.

We all know the role of the mother very well, the vast majority of us having been raised by our mothers. A mother nurtures and cares for her children. Most mothers do anyway. Mothers have a strong nature in nurturing and even when the "boy" is fifty. A boy of fifty plus once confided to his friends that his mother "still treats him like a kid." It seems some mothers never really let go and the instinct to nurture even seems to grow stronger in some mothers as they grow in seniors.

Many women are mother-father in the household in North America, often thought as a shinning example of successful living in the 21st century. According to UNICEF, 21.2% of American children are living in solo-mother families. Generally those living with the mother as a single parent are at a notable disadvantage.

Statistics from UNICEF, UNESCO, and many other policy and research organizations tell the story, but the story has a strong emotional component. There are many children who grow up haunted by not knowing who their father is. Persons who were adopted out, children born out of wedlock. No matter how the mother may try or reason, children exhibit a strong and seemingly irrational desire to know their father. This desire become especially pronounced when the child' identity is forming, the teenage years and the early twenties. The same goes for those seeking to know their mother. Such obsessive desire on part of the child can result in living in an emotional void, a great emotional reward and satisfaction upon finally getting connected to the previously absent parent, or a bitter and irresolvable grudge against the parent who abandoned' the child.

So what is the role of the father? Fatherhood, though simple in form and involvement, changes as the child and father mature. In the early stages, the father tends to be proud, protective,

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