by A.R. Posley

Created on: August 11, 2009

What is a college student to do when the condition of a shared dorm bathroom gets out of hand? The likely reaction will be one of three behaviors: passive, aggressive, or assertive. To illustrate this point, a passive student will feel like a victim and may complain to others who are not involved; an aggressive student will find fault in his or her roommate or suitemates and will confront them in a scornful manner using a haughty tone and no compassion; while an assertive student will express him or herself without sounding irritated, will consider the best interests of all parties involved, and will strive to reach an agreement such as by suggesting a bathroom chore schedule. It is clear to see that assertive behavior brings forth the most desired outcome that involves neither dominance nor submission but rather a negotiation. When sharing a bathroom in a college dorm, students will establish assertive communication and ideal relationships by honoring the following list of do's and don'ts.

Do's

1. Remember that the way a roommate or suitemate treats the bathroom reveals a lot about his/her character and upbringing; so try to make a good impression by being respectful and responsible.

2. Agree to and post a fair schedule/checklist that assigns bathroom chores to each student (weekly rotating schedule).

3. Consistently stick with the bathroom schedule; if a student is very busy or is not feeling well on his designated chore week, he/she should communicate with the others who may agree to switch weeks.

4. Be straightforward, polite, and confident when making a request.

5. Remain calm when making or responding to a request.

Don'ts

1. Talk down on one's roommate or suitemates by ordering them what they need to do, when they need to do it, and how they should do it.

2. Be a hypocrite by complaining that others are not doing their parts of maintaining the bathroom when the complainer is not doing a better job.

3. Hint, avoid eye contact, whine, or giggle when requesting that the roommate and suitemates help out with the bathroom.

4. Constantly find excuses to get out of maintaining the bathroom.

5. Overreact or respond defensively to an accusation or aggressive request.

By considering these bathroom-sharing tips, college students are on their way to ensuring a pleasant college experience. Assertive communication is the key that yields the benefits of expressing one's thoughts and feelings in a way that others will understand, giving and gaining the respect of others, and building one's self esteem. Not only is using bathroom assertiveness good practice for the real world, but it will be something that students will be proud to look back on in years to come.

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