by Jennifer Malesky

Created on: August 10, 2009

Every day I hear about the challenges of the working mother and the stay-at-home mom. Following the birth of my first child, I find myself in a third category: the inadvertently unemployed mother. I choose to work yet the poor job market has forced me into the shoes of someone I am not. Here I face a buffet of challenges not described in parenting magazines or websites.

Since being in the family way forced relocation, meeting new people is brutally commonplace. Sadly working has always identified who I am as a person I don't know this new me and thus struggle to make a proper introduction. When asked, What do YOU do? I cannot confidently answer, I am a stay-at-home mom. Because I am not. I am in limbo. So I force a smile and politely affirm, I am between jobs. I'm looking for something new. Society wants to bin me in one of the two standard categories for new mothers, so the rest of my response goes unspoken.

As often as is possible, nap time is not for dishes or other domestic chores. I am a career woman, not Suzie Homemaker. This blessed quiet time is for updating my resume, searching employment databases, and making contacts. Ironically, the few call-backs I've received never occur during nap time. They come shortly before, when my son has a fervent need for sleep, food, or other mysterious desire.

The darkness of night arrives and with it, sleepless hours lying next to my employed and contently snoozing husband. Even my son sleeps soundly in his own room, while I obsess over the situation. I strategize my next steps towards employment. I worry about my sanity with such limited contact to other career women of my age. I consider how the bills will be paid when my savings account eventually runs out. I fight my heart, trying not to place blame for how I ended up here. Yet somehow despite all the negative musings, before sleep takes hold of me, I think of my little boy's smiling face and count my blessings.

I realize the value of each day I spend with my son. Similar to traditional stay-at-home moms, I can dollarize the daycare and various other expenses saved by my position. I must confess though - there is more to this involuntary situation than money. For however long, I get to observe and even participate in the beautiful growth of my child. So while I CHOOSE to be a working mom, until I escape this limbo, I will appreciate the milestones I get to witness by being an inadvertently unemployed mother.

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