by Maura Clegg

Created on: February 08, 2007   Last Updated: April 13, 2008

If you have ever thought of becoming a foster parent I have something for you to consider, why not foster an older child? Now there is no reason to immediately think that this is a crazy notion and stop reading, I have a valid point for you to listen to.

In my somewhat limited experience as a foster parent I have had an infant, a toddler, a pre-school age, and a teenager. While the babies and toddler were great to have around the house they are totally reliant on the adults in the house. You also have to consider daycare, visits with parents, doctor appointments, etc. The teenager we had in our home was wonderful. She was only in our home for a couple of months, but even now over two years later she is still a part our lives.

She came to our house for a one night stay and we decided we couldn't do it because of extenuating circumstances. After a little soul searching we realized that we were being selfish and I called our DCF office and told them that this beautiful sixteen year old girl could come back and stay for as long as she needed too. The placement was a little troublesome when you first heard about it; this girl had run away from all of her previous placements. I was still not dissuaded.

When she came in I set out only one rule for her, she was not to run away from our house. I told her that there was an alarm and that it wouldn't be set. She was afraid to eat any of the food in the house and was timid about asking. I told her several times that she could eat whatever she wanted, but she was cautious that we were going to yell at her. I assured her that as long as she was in out home she was a part of our family. And I think that was what broke the ice.

From that night on she was a part of the family, she made sure she asked before she used the phone, or made any plans. Soon enough she was a typical teenager, basketball games, movies and hanging out with her friends. It was a great experience for us, and I like to think it was for her too. We got her to go back to high school to get her diploma so she could make a future for her and her unborn child. Yes, she was pregnant, but that didn't dissuade us either. We enjoyed her company.

After she left state care we received regular calls from her, we were invited to her baby shower, we were at the hospital when the baby girl was born, and we were just recently invited to the baby's first birthday party.

If you are in the frame of mind to be a foster parent, but you are not sure about a younger child I would strongly encourage you to think of an older child. They sometimes are just lost in the system because not many people have the room in their hearts for an older child. I think it could be even more satisfying because you can see the results of your help almost immediately; better grades, more sense of responsibility and the gratitude you will see and feel from them.

So, please if you are thinking of fostering please consider if you have a place in your heart and your home for an older child.

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