by Margi Bettelyoun

Created on: August 09, 2009   Last Updated: August 10, 2009

It is my third one. I wore the first two down so far that they broke. This one is wide enough to stand up to life, it is encompassing, and it is experienced. They all came from the same man, my husband. The first two were like we used to be, fragile. This one can take anything and keep on shining. It is my wedding band.

We met the day after my 19th birthday. We were married 10 days later in the back of a furniture store by the Justice of the Peace. That was the first ring. It was an $11.00 blue light special from Kmart. It was pretty but ordinary and not very well made; like the people it united. It did not stand up to scrubbing cloth diapers, washing glass baby bottles, gardening and housework. That was 38 years, 3 kids, 5 grandkids and a half a lifetime of experiences ago.

That ring broke because it wasn't us. It was fragile. Most new marriages are fragile, but ours gathers steam with every passing year. In the first 5 years of our marriage we learned how to be parents and orphans. We buried our parents and our oldest daughter. It is all in the circle of the band. We enjoyed the little lives of our son and another daughter. And then, a few years later, we welcomed another son. They were such cute, interesting little kids, but then they became teenagers! And now they are these amazing adults! How did that happen so fast? The answers lie in the circle of the band.

Somewhere in this time came the next ring that was much like the first except that it came from a jewelers not Kmart. It would not stand up to our lives. Our lives were always changing and always staying the same. This man who gave these rings was a "jack of all trades and master of a few." His jobs, the kids' lives, and my life were all encircled in this band. So the rings were college students, accountants, Tribal Treasurers, farmers, business owners, football players, wrestlers, straight A students, homemakers, woodworkers, business managers and postal workers. That is quite a bit for a simple little ring to endure. We still needed something with substance that would symbolize our strength, endurance, our commitment, our love.

So for the last 25 years I have had this wide, gold, capable band that can handle anything, like the people it unites. It has outlasted the other rings by decades just like we can outlast any trouble that comes our way. It has not come off my finger in all these years through surgery, slop, troubles, and joys. The story is in the circle of the band. It still has shine and a little of the original pattern. It endures...like the people it unites. It is all in the circle of the band.

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