by Candy Jules

Created on: August 08, 2009

A minister told me long ago, that you can only raise a child so far, teaching them right and wrong. After that, they have a mind of their own, and their own choices. We all make good choices, and at the same time, we have all made bad choices. It's even harder in todays times.

I am proud to be a mother of three children, who are now grandparents. I always said, it was by the grace of a loving God that they lived this long. They are all so different in their right. They were raised to know right from wrong, to value life, to be kind and considerate of others, and to know God as their Heavenly Father.

I have one however, that is so far above the rest of us. His achievements are great and bountiful. His respect is well earned by all who know him. He's a great man, and I'm very proud of him.

I come from a family that had to struggle for everything. My dad was a hard working man, doing long hours to provide for the family. He taught us good values, truth, respect, and all of the essentials, so even though we had all we needed, we didn't always get what we wanted, But I've never been sorry that this is my roots. Money had nothing to do with the love we got from our parents.

My son seems to be drifting farther and farther away from family. He and his siblings have had their differences from time to time, but It's like we don't fit into his world anymore. As bad as I hate to admit it, I can understand why. The friends and family that he has now, are from a different world than the one he came from. He has come along way without us. He has made it on his own, but he's my son, and I can't buy his love. I shouldn't have to.

I haven't seen any of my children since my mother passed away almost two years ago. It will be two years next month. I miss them terribly, but that's what life has dealt. My oldest son has been in the state three times since December. Once to see his grandparents, twice to see his daughters graduate from college, and high school. He was an hour and a half away, but I never got to see him.

I feel bad for even thinking these things, but darn it, it hurts. They are good at sending me a check for my birthday, mothers day, and Christmas, but I need to be loved and respected, not bought. I'm his mother. I doubt that they even have a picture of me in their house. If I sound selfish, please forgive me.

It's very hard to sit by myself every Christmas and all the other holidays, when I know that my family is celebrating somewhere with someone else's family. I try to remember the times when I was needed and love was enough because they hadn't ventured out into the world of wonders.

It's hard getting old, especially when you don't know if you'll ever see them again or not. Love can't be bought, It can't be borrowed, but It can be enough if it's true and sincere. Love is an emotion that only comes from the heart and thats all I want and need. Thank God that I have His love.

Learn more about this author, Candy Jules.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.