Why do kids insist on growing up so fast? What is it about adulthood that they find so appealing? I'm going toe-to-toe with middle age, and I just don't see the attraction. I'd much rather stay a kid forever. And I think I will.
But I was grown up, once. About 25 years ago, when I was my daughter's age.
I'll never forget the day I traded in my Wonder Woman Underoos for a real, live training bra - with a bow! Then the estrogen kicked in, introduced me to my multiple personalities, and I was officially a woman.
And that was just the beginning. My 11th summer was one of major transformation, physically and mentally. My friends and I went from Barbies to boys, seemingly overnight. Pigtails no more! We were fully grown, high maintenance women who required mousse and gel and curling irons. And high heels. Those pink, plastic, strappy-things from the drugstore weren't going to cut it anymore. It was time for the big guns. Time to dig out mom's Candies from the back of the closet!
Yes, those were the days. But they didn't last long. After my 21st birthday I discovered being grown up was only fun when I was a kid. No work, no bills, no responsibilities. Playing Nintendo was a lot more fun than balancing a checkbook, and the boys in the real world had nothing on Mario. So I reverted.
I want to save my daughter from all that - growing up too fast and wasting her childhood. But there's just no talking to pre-teens, especially girls. They come with a mind of their own (some assembly required,) and it's completely made up. There's no changing it, no swaying it, no pleading with it for compromise. You can try to shape it a little and pray for the best, but that's about it. You have to hurry, though, so as to not miss your window of opportunity. Once that inevitable 'growth spurt' hits, forget it - it's too late. Trying to rationalize with a pre-pubescent girl is nothing less than a death wish. I know it looks easy on TV, but that's just a sales tactic. Those maxi-pad commercials where the mom and daughter giggle and dance while doing each other's hair are a huge stretch of someone's imagination. Realistically, that mother-daughter moment is more like a scene from The Exorcist - screaming and crying, thrashing around while dressers get whipped across her bedroom, and all the while your little girl is cursing at you in a language you didn't even know she could speak!
It's an ugly battle and we'll lose every time. But it's unavoidable. They've all got to grow up sooner or later. I just wish it were later rather than sooner.
My daughter will be 11 this month, and I'm horrified. Looking back, the memories are pretty daunting. 11 going on 30 is a very scary age! She already seems to think she's 16. She acts 16, and when she gets into my makeup, she looks 16. I hate that. I want to keep her little forever, safe and innocent. I want to shelter her from liars and bullies and violence and heartache - stress of any kind. Is that so wrong? She's my baby and I love her. But how can I protect her from the world if I'm not allowed to lock her in a closet? I can't chain her up or stick her in my purse and carry her around like a little dog, so what choice do I have? I don't. The only thing I can do is take a deep breath and prepare to cut... no, to trim the apron strings. Just a little. With her Crayola scissors... which couldn't cut butter. In the meantime, I'll have to enjoy every video game, every bounce on the trampoline, and every guinea pig-saving moment with her while she's still my 'baby.'