by fairychild

Created on: August 06, 2009   Last Updated: August 07, 2009

I have always regarded friends as extended family. And I mean the type of friends that will bring a shovel if you call them at 3 a.m, telling them you have to bury the body. And while most of us will try to filter the people we keep close to our hearts, there are a few that slip under the radar undetected, or better yet, in disguise.

The difference between good and toxic friends should be glaringly obvious but often we are too blind to their sweet smelling poisonous personalities. I admit, that I have been intoxicated, punch drunk actually, to even realize the toxic effect it had on my health, my emotional well-being and my state of mind.

But, the good news is that I'm learning. I've learnt that good friends will always be there for you even if you don't want it. They will go the extra mile, text you just to find out if you are okay. They will give you the shirt of their back,guilt free. They will never make you feel bad about yourself or judge you. They will listen to you talk about the same thing for hours. They will do things for your without you ever asking. They will comfort you when you are hurting. They will stand by you and most of all they will accept you for you are and never try to change you.

Toxic friends on the other hand will try to break you. They will drag you down into depths of despair. They blame you for things that are wrong in their lives. They will ignore you, hurt you and claim that their form of support is the same as criticizing you. They will isolate your flaws from the rest of you, prey on your weakness and break you down. They will bring out the worse in you while good friends only bring out the best.

With good friends you will shine. Toxic friends will leave you cowering in the shadows feeling like an empty, useless vessel. I'm still stuck in a toxic friendship and after years of trying to fix something I thought was my fault. I'm walking away without a fight. Shutting the door behind me. I now realize that things that are out of my control and unfixable are best left alone. I take comfort and solitude in that my good friends are just a phone call away with open arms.

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